


Taste.

by kotabear24



Series: Senses. [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Fingering, Anxiety, College Football, College Student Louis, Crying, Escapism, Fall Break, High School Football, High School Student Harry, Let me know if I've missed something sorry, M/M, Nail Polish, Negotiations, Nightmares, Oral Sex, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rimming, Rutting, Surprise Arrival, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-04
Updated: 2014-11-04
Packaged: 2018-02-24 02:40:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 33,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2565281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kotabear24/pseuds/kotabear24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Louis' relationship has really changed a lot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Taste.

**Author's Note:**

> First timestamp of the 'Touch' mainfic; I can't believe it! Here's some 33 thousand words of stuff, I hope you like it all. Massive, massive thanks to erikabearikuh over on tumblr, she's the best, and to my beta Graciele, for being lovely and reading through this mound of emotions and words. It's all from Harry's point of view, the title is more related to the series' name than the actual fic, and it's set in October of 2013, when Louis' been in Florida for a few months. I really, really, really hope you like it. Please comment when you're done!!

_Harry gasped as he ran up the stairs of his old house, tears blurring his vision and the sobs coming from his throat making it hard to breathe._

__Louis, Louis, Louis _, he thought. If he could just get to Louis._

_“You can’t escape the truth, Harry,” Mark called after him. As Harry ran to his room, he heard Mark’s footsteps coming up the stairs, following him._

_Harry slammed his door shut and turned around, only to come face-to-face with Louis. “_ Louis _,” Harry said, relieved to see him. “Louis, you have to-”_

_Louis held up a gun and pressed the tip to Harry’s forehead. Harry stared in horror as Louis slowly morphed into Des, still holding the gun and staring down with his cold, grey eyes, and then Des morphed into Mark, who laughed as he pulled the trigger._

Harry jerked awake with a shout, gasping and covered in sweat as he sat up. 

Eyes flickering around wildly, it only took Harry a few seconds to realize he was in the new house. Mark and Des were both dead, and Louis was in Florida. 

Harry wiped his face, took a deep breath, and reached for his phone, dialing Louis’ number.

“ _Hello?_ ”

Harry sighed when Louis picked up after a few rings, his voice tired, though it sounded like he’d been awake for a while. Just hearing his _voice_ made Harry feel better. “Louis,” he said, feeling safe.

“ _Hey, there,_ ” Louis said, and Harry heard some shuffling. “ _’S wrong, babe?_ ”

“You shot me,” Harry whispered.

“ _What_?” Louis asked after a second. “ _It was me?_ ”

“Well – no, it was – it was you, and then you – you turned into my d- father, and then, like, he turned into…into Mark. And Mark…” Harry swallowed. “Mark shot me.”

There was a beat of silence on the other end of the line, and Louis sighed. “ _I’m sorry, babe_ ,” he said. “ _I hate – I hate that you have dreams like this still._ ”

“They’re getting better,” Harry reasoned quietly, wanting to forget it, now that he had Louis on the phone. 

Louis made a contemplative sound. “ _Not sure if_ shot by my boyfriend slash father slash boyfriend’s step-dad _is really the kind of aesthetic we’re trying for,_ ” he said wryly.

Harry huffed a little laugh in the dark. “Why are you awake?” He asked after a moment. 

“ _Because you need me,_ ” Louis said, his voice going up like it always did when he was trying to sound philosophical but really just ended up sounding cheesy. 

“Okay,” Harry said, “but really, why are you up?” There was a laugh in his voice.

“ _It’s a long story; I’ll tell you about it later,_ ” Louis said, and Harry frowned. 

“Think you’ll wake Dougie up?” He asked, trying to think of reasons Louis wouldn’t want to tell him something at the moment. 

Louis snorted, though. “ _Everything wakes Dougie up; he’s the worst roommate in the world. Such a light sleeper._ ”

It was probably really poor form to be so glad Louis got so irritated by his roommate, sometimes. “I’m sorry, Lou,” he lied through his teeth. “He doesn’t give you too much crap, does he?”

“ _Of course he does,_ ” Louis laughed, “ _I’m a freshman and he’s my Big Brother._ ”

Right. The Big Brother, Little Brother thing the football team at UNF had going on. Louis was roomed with a senior on the team; all the freshmen footballers were. It was supposed to establish a good learning curve while simultaneously keeping everyone in line. It gave the seniors a reason to behave, and gave the freshmen someone to model their behavior after. Louis had said Dougie was a pretty good guy – as far as he could tell; it’d only been two months, about – but it became clear pretty soon that Dougie had a lot of small irritating personal habits that drove Louis insane, though they were pretty good friends.

“I mean, because of me,” Harry said, pulling the covers up over his shirtless chest; the air from the circling fan was cold on his sweat-soaked skin.

“ _Nah_ ,” Louis said after a moment. He was lying. “ _He just gives me shit for being whipped in general. He thinks you’re my secret lover, because we always talk so late at night or early in the morning._ ”

Harry laughed a little, but he did worry, so he asked, “You’re – you’re getting enough sleep, though, right? Like, I can always wait-”

“ _If I wanted you to wait, I’d call you in the morning when I woke up_ ,” Louis interrupted firmly.

“Yeah, but I know you,” Harry began.

“ _What did I do when you called me during the scrimmage tournament?_ ” Louis asked, a little too smug for Harry to appreciate.

He huffed. “Lou, that was _one time_ -”

_What’d I do?_ ” He insisted.

Harry rolled his eyes, and hoped Louis knew he was doing it. “You told me you couldn’t talk, and that you’d call me as soon as you woke up,” he muttered.

“ _Exactly,_ ” Louis said. “ _And I hated it, and I slept like shit, slept through my alarm, was almost late to the bus, played like shit, and didn’t have time to call you until hours later. So. I’d rather just hash it out when it happens, rather than toss and turn worrying over you and ending up screwing something up._ ”

Harry sighed, and he knew Louis was right.

“ _Hey,_ ” Louis said softly. “ _I know it’s getting better; I know you don’t always have to call me when you wake up from a nightmare. But we know this works, and if it works, why knock it? It makes both of us feel better. Plus, if I’m awake enough, we get to talk a little more, which is always good, because you say some really weird stuff when you’re tired._ ”

Harry blushed. “I do _not_ ,” he said. “What do I say?”

“ _Don’t worry about it, sweet baby_ ,” he said. “ _Hey, did you have that pre-calc test yet?_ ”

“No, it’s tomorrow,” Harry reminded Louis. 

“ _Tomorrow-tomorrow, or tomorrow-today?_ ”

“Tomorrow-today,” Harry answered, noting that he could see just a tiny bit of pink from where the sun was starting to come up. 

“ _Wanna go back to sleep?_ ” Louis asked. 

Harry glanced at the clock, shaking his head to himself. “Wouldn’t be worth it,” he said, and collapsed back onto his mattress, wincing at the cold sheets, wet from his own sweat. “I’m just glad it’s Friday.”

“ _Mhmm, gotta get down on Friday_ ,” Louis said, his voice mock-solemn. Harry groaned.

“I _hate_ that song,” he whined. “Why would you do that to a person you love?”

Louis laughed, loud and free, and Harry decided he definitely wasn’t in his room – Dougie would’ve already had his head for it.

“Where are you?” He asked.

“ _In the car_ ,” Louis answered breezily. “ _Coming back from the gym._ ”

“What were you doing in the gym at five in the morning?” Harry asked, horror in his voice.

“ _Four_ ,” Louis corrected him, because Harry always forgot the time difference between Marshall and Jacksonville. “ _And I was up, so I figured, you know. Why not?_ ”

“Oh,” Harry said. “Ew. Sorry, I mean…no, actually. Just ew.”

Louis laughed. “ _Well, it has its benefits,_ ” he said. “My biceps are getting pretty big.”

“Don’t skip leg day,” Harry said dryly, making Louis snort. “I’m serious,” Harry added, though Louis could probably hear the smile in his voice. “Don’t come to me looking like a weird triangle, all big arms and shoulders and tiny legs. You’ll look like a reverse T-Rex.”

“ _Damn, guess I’ll have to go right back to the gym and pump some iron_ ,” Louis said. “ _Talk later_.”

Harry just grinned, loving how light-hearted they could be, now that impending horror wasn’t looming over their heads all the time. After a few months – since right before Louis left, actually – things in Harry’s life had finally started to smooth out again, and be like they were before…just with the added, incredible bonus of Louis Tomlinson hanging around. It was almost as if they were starting over, despite the high level of trust and depth they had in their relationship – they got to see each other in ways they never had, now that Harry was so much more open and unafraid (except for things like the nightmares), and Louis wasn’t in protect-mode all the time. 

“ _What are you doing this weekend?_ ” Louis finally asked, after a few moments of quiet. 

“Uh, I think nothing,” Harry answered. “It depends on Liam. Niall’s going down to Kilgore campus to be with Zayn for the weekend, but I don’t know if Liam wants to do anything tonight.”

“ _You know, I love you,_ ” Louis said out of nowhere. It still made Harry’s heart beat fast, even after all the times he’d said it.

“I love you, too,” he answered, and then sighed into the phone. “I miss you so much.”

Louis made a sad sound and then cleared his throat, took a deep breath, and said a little gruffly, “ _Yeah, I miss you, too, babe. I can’t wait to see you again._ ”

Harry rolled his head to look up at the ceiling, and then closed his eyes, pretending Louis was right next to him in bed. “I know what I’ll be thankful for,” he hummed. Louis made an agreeing sound. “Only a month and a half until Thanksgiving, and then I get to see your face. I miss it.”

Louis chuckled. “ _Is that all you miss_?” He asked, and Harry blushed hotly. 

“No,” he said honestly. “I also miss your – your penis.”

“ _I miss yours, too, babe_ ,” Louis said, not at all surprised by Harry’s confession. Harry’d been getting a little braver. Hiding behind a screen probably helped.

Harry snuck his hand down under the covers and rested his palm over his penis, which was just starting to wake up, as if it knew Louis was talking about it. “When you come back, I can meet you at the Jungle,” Harry offered, having fantasized about Louis’ return so many times it was pathetic. “We can – you know – do stuff.” His heart raced because he knew what he was about to say; he’d rehearsed it a thousand times.

“ _Stuff, huh_?” Louis asked. “ _What kind of stuff_?”

Harry took a deep, steadying breath, and said, “Like your fingers up my bum again.” 

There was a bit of a weird, loud humming sound, paired with the sound of Louis choking a little, and then coughing, and then saying, “ _Jesus_.”

Harry laughed, free and too loud in his sleepy house, and removed the hand he had on his penis. Now wasn’t the time. “Are you okay?” He asked, laughing. “Did I just kill you?”

“ _Warn a guy next time_ ,” Louis laughed. “ _I nearly died in, like, four different ways!_ ”

\---

“Styles! Get it together, Styles!” 

Harry huffed, irritated at himself for losing another second on his mile. “Yes, sir,” he called, and made himself move faster. Always faster. 

“That’s the hustle I like to see,” Coach called. “Everyone, stop and look at Styles! Look at his form! Look at his hustle! If I don’t see that from everyone, you’re all running double!” 

Harry had kept running as Coach praised him, making his shoulders feel lighter and his legs move a little easier with pride and relief, but with his threat, Harry pressed himself even more as he ran around the track, staring longingly at the football field. Football practice was so much more fun when there was actual football involved. 

Once Harry went around the track an eighth time, he slowed his run to a jog for another quarter mile and then walked half a mile, breathing heavily. Finally done with his miles, Harry pulled off his shirt and mopped his skin with it, hating the sticky feeling of October’s humidity, where most days, it was a little cold, but some were still blisteringly hot, leaving the air with more water than Harry’s sports bottle. 

Finally done with his cool down, Harry grabbed his bag and the equipment bag and jogged over to the field. Practice was technically over once they finished two miles, but Harry’d been missing shots again, and he wasn’t really comfortable with it. He was a right wing, yes, but he still needed be able to shoot from the left of the freaking field. Apparently, he was physically incapable of it, or something, because he’d missed three of his five shots on a warm-up drill. 

After throwing all the balls toward the center of the field, Harry jogged over and just started pelting them into the goal. Shot after shot went in until he reached the left side, and then they started going off to the side one way or another, and it was starting to really make him angry. 

“Ugh!” Harry growled out loud when another shot went wide, and bent over, reaching his hands down to touch his toes. It was a weird coping mechanism, but Harry found that having his head upside down helped him calm down a little bit, especially when it was self-directed anger. 

He snapped back up a second later when a ball hit him in the bum. Whipping around angrily, Harry's. eyes went wide when he saw the person who’d kicked the football in the first place, bent over double and laughing at having kicked Harry’s bum. Harry’s knees went weak. 

“ _Louis_?!” He said quietly, and Louis stood and started jogging closer, still laughing a little. “Louis!” 

Harry gave up any thought of extra practice and sprinted, ignoring the screaming-sore muscles in his legs, and he tackled Louis to the ground, hurting his wrist a bit in the process because his arms were already wrapped around Louis so tight when they fell. “Oh my god, Louis! Louis, oh my – holy crap, oh, god, Louis.” 

Tears were in his eyes, stupidly enough, and Louis was holding him just as tight, chuckling even though it sounded a little like he was trying not to cry, too. 

“Louis, how are you – you lied to me about the gym, you jerk!” Harry said, wild thoughts and mental math coming to his mind, and Louis burst out laughing.

“Is that _really_ what you should be focusing on, here?” He asked. “You’ve just made yourself look like a little girl in front of your whole team; I’d be more worried about your reputation than me fibbing.”

Confused, Harry pulled his head back to look down at Louis, who jerked his head off to the side, toward the track. Harry looked up and saw, surely enough, almost his entire team, including Coach, standing at the fence of the track, whooping and hollering. Scot even had his phone out, recording. Harry knew he should be embarrassed about that, objectively, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care, really. Louis was home.

Harry leaned back in and gave Louis a soft kiss, not wanting to rush it – especially not on the field, when there were people (especially Coach) staring – and then rested his head against Louis’ shoulder again. “I can’t believe you’re here. How are you here?”

Louis rubbed Harry’s back with one hand and scratched Harry’s sweat-plastered curls with the other. “Fall break; it’s a beautiful thing. God bless the east coast.”

“God bless,” Harry echoed, making Louis chuckle. 

“Alright, now get off me, you great giant; we’re making a spectacle of ourselves.”

“Don’t care,” Harry said, shaking his head, but he got up anyway, and pulled Louis up with him and into another hug.

“Get some, Styles!” one of the new juniors yelled, making Harry blush and cover his face while Louis snorted. The rest of the team all gave the junior a whack or two to the head, having already learned Harry’s preferences on privacy. 

“He’s new,” Louis said blandly, and pulled away from Harry. “Now. Let’s work on that kick of yours.”

\---

An hour later, Louis followed Harry home in his own car, Harry having gotten his license and used the money he’d saved to split the cost with his mum to buy a crappy, old, used jeep-kind of car. He'd named it Wanda. It was a hunk of junk, but it was Harry’s, and Louis promised that he’d let Harry drive him around. 

Pulling into the driveway of his house, Harry saw Robin’s car already there, and wondered if his mum had known the whole time that Louis was coming. 

Harry helped Louis get his bags – there were two giant duffels and his football bag, honestly – and asked, “So, how long are you even here?”

“Just for the fall break break; I have to go back _early_ Wednesday,” Louis frowned, but Harry was ecstatic. 

“Five days?” He nearly shouted in his excitement. “You’re here for nearly a week?!”

Louis laughed and leaned in to kiss him, right there in the front yard. “Five days,” he promised. Harry felt like he was on cloud nine. 

It turned out that, yes, his mum _had_ known, because as soon as Harry opened the door for Louis, she was calling out his name and hurrying towards him with her arms spread wide. 

“Oh, Louis, how _are_ you?” She cried out, and Robin came to stand behind her and watch on with a smile. “You look so _thin_ ; are they feeding you down in Florida?”

“I can assure you, I’m eating more than I should be,” Louis said with a laugh, and then, “Robin! So good to see you, mate! How’ve you been?”

“You mean to tell me Harry doesn’t talk about me nonstop to you?” Robin joked, hugging Louis and clapping his back. “I’ve been good; Harry says you’ve settled in to your new dorm pretty well?”

“Yeah,” Louis shrugged. “It’s not quite home, but, you know. It kind of has to be for the next four years. Might as well get used to it, right?”

“Exactly,” Robin chuckled. 

Harry saw a long story about Robin’s glory days in college coming on, so he jumped in. “Mum, Robin, I’m sure Louis’ tired; he drove thirteen hours and then played football; would you mind…?”

“Oh, of course not,” Harry’s mum said. “Of course! I expect you’ll all be going to Jay’s for dinner?”

Harry hadn’t actually thought about it, as selfish as that was. He looked over to Louis, who nodded with a smile and said, “Yeah, I’m afraid I’m going to have to steal your boy away for tonight and tomorrow, if you don’t mind. The girls’d strangle me in my sleep if I didn’t visit tonight.”

“No, go ahead; I see Harry every day,” Anne said with a wink at Harry.

“Alright,” he said, and pulled Louis’ bags to the guest room, and Louis followed along. “Just so it doesn’t get crowded in my room,” he explained. “You can still sleep with me.” Louis winked, and Harry blushed, but he dropped the bags and crowded into Louis’ space anyways, wrapping his arms around Louis’ back and dropping his hands to his bum immediately. “Oh, bum, I’ve missed you,” he said wistfully, laughing when Louis squawked and pushed him away. “Hey,” he whined, “don’t separate me from my one true love!” 

Louis snorted and grabbed Harry’s hand, gently pulling him close, and kissed him. “Later,” he promised in a whisper. “We can always lock my door.”

\---

Dinner with the Tomlinsons certainly was a loud affair. Harry, who had helped Lottie babysit a few times since Louis had been gone, was used to their loud dinners, but this was a whole new level.

Lottie had cried the most of all of them when Harry showed up at their doorstep with a Louis in tow, though the twins and Fizzy certainly had cried quite a bit. The twins quickly roped Louis into letting them do his hair and makeup, so Lottie, Fizz, and Jay all hung out in the girls’ play room, so they could all hang out with Louis. 

Jay simply ordered a few pizzas and they all ate in the living room, and Harry took the chair so the girls could all huddle around Louis and give him love. It was fine. Harry thoroughly planned to be skipping some school during the week. Plus, he had nights. 

The twins cried when it was bedtime, so Louis went up and read them a story, and by the time it was Fizzy’s bedtime, Lottie had already gotten a phone call and had gone to her room, stopping to punch Louis’ arm and then lean in for the awkward am-I-too-old-for-this-or-is-it-okay hug. Louis and Harry stayed up a little later with Jay until she got tired and headed up to bed. 

The second she was gone, Louis patted his lap and Harry scrambled over to awkwardly straddle him, his cheeks already aflame. But Louis just wrapped his arms around Harry, one hand holding the other wrist, his dangling fingers playing with the hem of Harry’s shirt. Harry leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Louis’ neck, hugging him tight, and for a few minutes, they just sat in the quiet, not moving or speaking – just being together. 

Harry loved him.

After a while, though, he started thinking of how much time they’d spent _not_ together, and he started getting restless. Harry tucked his head in to kiss just behind Louis’ ear, letting his lips slide against Louis’ skin and smiling when Louis chuckled knowingly. Harry ignored it and said quietly, “Can we _please_ go up to your bed?”

Louis’ arms tightened around Harry and he playfully murmured, “Not sure if you’re more excited to see me or my dick.”

“Well, it _is_ a part of you,” Harry murmured diplomatically, though his face felt hot. He tucked his head back into Louis’ neck and said, “Please. I’m sixteen, and you’ve been gone for _months_. Plus, you’re really fit.”

Louis suddenly licked a stripe up the side of Harry’s neck, making Harry gasp in surprise, and he felt his penis getting harder and harder. “You’re quite fit, too,” Louis mumbled, and patted Harry’s bum. “Hop up, I want you.”

Harry was pretty sure he’d never moved so quickly in his entire life. Louis didn’t say anything about it, though, so Harry rushed up the stairs, trying his best to keep quiet so he didn’t disturb the girls. Louis followed just as quickly, and by the time they reached Louis’ room, they were both breathing a tiny bit heavier, as if the working out they did all the time meant nothing to their bodies if stairs were involved. 

Louis shut the door and locked it, and Harry moved backwards toward the bed. Louis caught up with him just before he sat down on it, and grabbed Harry’s shirt to pull him closer for a kiss that reminded Harry _just_ how long it’d been since someone else had given him an orgasm. Harry moaned a little and wound his arms around Louis, neck, playing in his hair, which was getting longer and longer. 

Apparently done with the kiss, Louis sucked at Harry’s bottom lip, let it go with a pop, and then pushed Harry backwards, and he fell on the bed, breath whooshing out a little as he bounced and giggled. 

Louis climbed up over him, knees on either side of Harry’s hips, and pressed his body down against Harry’s. Harry felt Louis’ penis, just as hard as his own, and rolled his hips as much as he could with Louis pinning him down. 

“What do you want tonight?” Louis asked, his voice shaking just a little bit. 

“Everything,” Harry moaned in frustration when Louis didn’t grind their bodies together. “Just – I don’t know; I don’t _care_ ; just – please, please, I just want to feel you.”

Louis leaned down on Harry, letting his weight press on him, and Harry instantly sighed, feeling simultaneously more calm and more excited. When Louis started pressing kisses down the column of Harry’s throat, Harry stretched his head back, breathing through his mouth and wrapped his arms around Louis’ back, pulling the back of his shirt up and scrambling to feel his warm skin. 

Louis pulled away to tug off his shirt, and Harry gaped when he saw the amount of new definition in Louis’ body after only a few months of being at college. Louis stayed up and let Harry trace the muscles on his body, watching Harry watching the way his fingers moved across Louis’ skin, over the dips and bumps of new definition. His body hadn’t changed _incredibly_ , but everything was just that bit more defined in a way that hadn’t shown through his t-shirt. Harry wasn’t sure how he felt about Louis having a body he didn’t know like the back of his hand, and resolved to memorize it while Louis was home, sure it would be different again when he came back for Thanksgiving. 

The best part of the view, though, was the little pendant, resting on his chest by a leather cord. Harry reached up to run a finger over it, and smiled when he saw the color’d been worn down just a little on the edges, like it was touched and rubbed a lot.

Harry wrapped his arms around Louis’ back and pulled him back down, his fingers digging into the muscles of his shoulder blades when Louis ducked back down to kiss at his neck. Louis wasn’t really making a path of kisses; he was just kissing any place at Harry’s neck he could get. Their hips rolled together and Harry felt Louis’ penis against his hip and he changed his mind. Harry _really_ wanted Louis’ penis. 

“Lou – Lou,” he said, trying to keep his moans quiet for the time being so Louis would pay attention.

“Mmm, yes, sweet baby?” He answered, grabbing one of Harry’s arms and pushing it down against the bed. Louis’ hand slid up Harry’s forearm, up his bicep, and linked their hands together. 

“I want your – I want you in my…in my mouth. Can I?” Louis had groaned the second Harry mentioned his mouth, and nodded when he asked permission, resting his forehead against the now-wet skin of Harry’s neck for a few seconds. 

“Fuck, yeah,” he said, and rolled off Harry. 

While Harry stared at the ceiling for a few seconds, reveling in being able to have Louis again, Louis shifted, taking his jeans and boxers off and moving down the bed so his feet weren’t touching the floor, where he didn’t have so much leverage. It shouldn’t have made Harry feel unbelievably cherished that Louis remembered – after all, it had only been a few months – but it did, and for a few seconds, he just stared at the young man next to him, with his bright blue eyes and his gorgeously-tanned skin, and knew he was lucky. 

“Not too sure I could control myself; it’s been so long,” Louis explained, apparently misunderstanding the way Harry was staring at him. 

Harry just smiled as he moved down, off the bed, and knelt on the floor in front of him. “Well, if it’s been so long…” he said, a little laughter in his voice. As if Harry hadn’t been counting down the days until he had Louis again. 

Harry rubbed Louis’ thighs and kissed the skin, now more toned than ever. He had half a mind to try to work Louis up – Niall had mentioned about teasing, and how he felt it made sex even better – but at the same time, he really wanted to taste Louis’ penis again. It really _had_ been a long time, and he used to do it at least once a week.

With teasing off the menu, Harry was pleased to hear Louis groan, just a tiny bit, when he grabbed Louis’ penis with one hand and licked up the underside with another.

Since Louis was gone, Harry had started watching porn again. And, well. 

“ _Shit_ ,” Louis blurted when Harry gently pulled back his foreskin and flicked his tongue rapidly over the head of Louis’ penis. “Oh my god, Harry.”

Harry’s chest puffed out in pride and he wrapped his lips around the head, enough in his mouth that it wouldn’t fall out if he moved his hand, and stroked Louis’ shaft up and down a few times quickly. A quick glance down told Harry that Louis’ feet were flexing and pointing, toes wiggling in ways that Harry would think would probably be uncomfortable. He slowed his stroking and stopped his hand down at the base of Louis’ penis and bobbed his head down, getting his shaft a little more wet so the slide was easier every time. 

Louis’ hands were clenching around the bedding, pulling it roughly as hitched breaths came from his mouth. Harry’s free hand slid over the skin of Louis’ groin, clearly recently-shaved and still pretty smooth, only a few prickles here and there. After not having Louis for so long, Harry set a slow pace, wanting to enjoy it, his head bobbing and only really sucking in when he pulled back on each bob – he didn’t want to try sucking down when he bobbed closer; he didn’t want to scrape Louis, or anything – and one hand stroked and twisted what he hadn’t gotten to yet with his mouth while the other hand greedily explored his more-toned body. 

Louis’ breathing grew short and he started gasping after a while, Harry’s slow rhythm starting to get to him. “Harry,” he breathed, and swore quietly when Harry hummed curiously around him. “Shit, Harry. I’m – I’m about to come.”

Harry grinned and pulled off, stroking faster, and told him, “So come,” and sank back down, as far as he could go. 

Louis’ tip hit the back of Harry’s throat, and he gagged a little, and the spasm around his penis sent Louis over the edge. He came, right in Harry’s mouth, and Harry swallowed it down his throat and kept sucking until Louis got too squirmy, and then he pulled off, pressing the heel of his hand over his own erection.

“Come here, come here,” Louis said, making grabby hands at Harry that made him laugh. 

Harry crawled up onto the bed, just above Louis, and grabbed his arm, dragging him up so his feet were back on the bed again. Louis took a few seconds to breathe, and then he rolled over, pushing Harry on his back. 

“I believe you said you wanted something specific this morning?” He asked Harry with a smirk. Harry blushed, and his heart rate started getting faster again. As much as he wanted Louis’ fingers inside of him again, he was stupidly nervous. 

“I believe it had to do with these?” Louis waved his fingers in Harry’s face, making Harry snort, and then he started laughing when Louis started tickling his side. 

“Stop! Stop it!” Harry laughed, squirming away from Louis’ merciless fingers. “That’s not how I wanted it!”

“No?” Louis asked, laughter in his voice as he straddled Harry and started tickling him with both fingers. Harry’s legs thrashed around and he hit at Louis’ chest and arms, trying to buck up enough to get Louis off him. “What could you _possibly_ want with these fingers, hmm?”

Through his laughter, Harry managed to choke out, “In me – in – oh god, Louis, stop! I want them in – in me!”

Louis stopped tickling Harry suddenly, and Harry took a few deep breaths, giggling in relief because he _had_ been afraid, now that their relationship had changed so much the past few months, that maybe their…intimate times…would be a little different, maybe not as meaningful, and he’d been worried that they’d start to be like normal couples, where sex was more of an expected routine than a deep, wonderful thing they got to share with each other. 

Louis seemed to be thinking the same thing, because his face softened as he stared down at Harry and smiled. “I seriously love you so much,” he said like it was confession, like a secret. Harry’s breath hitched. He was glad they didn’t say those words all the time, like how Niall and Zayn had started to – it made it more special, to him. 

“I love you, too,” he answered, and licked his lips. “Like, I love you a whole lot.”

It sounded less stupid and juvenile in his head, but when Louis’ lips twitched, he slapped a hand over his face and groaned, laughing as he blushed. Louis finally let his laughter go, a little quietly, since they were still in a house full of kids, and leaned down to kiss the back of the hand covering Harry’s face. He pulled Harry’s hand away, and Harry looked up at him, still giggling over his own idiotic moment, and Louis leaned down to kiss him, moving his hips as he did it. Harry’s penis had only gone a little softer by the tickle fight and embarrassing himself, but it didn’t take much of Louis’ tongue licking his own and some friction to get it fully erect again.

“Lou, please,” Harry said the moment Louis’ lips left his. 

“Hmm,” Louis hummed, kissing down Harry’s neck. He pulled back the collar of Harry’s shirt and sucked a lovebite that had Harry arching up, gasping and digging his nails into Louis' back. “Why've you still got clothes on?” He asked mildly, licking over the mark. “I’m completely naked, and you’re underneath me, completely covered. That’s a shame.”

Harry blushed and cooperated when Louis started pulling on his shirt, leaning up to get it off. His hips jumped when Louis stared blankly at Harry’s torso – Harry supposed he’d gained a bit of muscle, as well – and then darted down, scooting back to sit just underneath Harry’s knees so he could comfortably lick, suck, and bite all over Harry’s chest. 

Harry leaned his head back, closing his eyes, and tangled his fingers in Louis’ hair. He didn’t pull, but the soft, thick hair between his fingers grounded him in the strangest way while Louis left lovebite after lovebite on his chest. Louis sucked on Harry’s nipple, which cause Harry’s penis to throb suddenly, and Harry’s fingers tightened a little in Louis’ hair. He switched to the other nipple briefly, and then continued down Harry’s body, scraping his teeth against Harry’s clenching abs while Harry fought to keep quiet. It wasn’t even particularly arousing, the feelings that Louis was giving him by kissing and licking his body, but kiss by kiss, and bite by bite, and lick by lick, Louis was making Harry feel like the most attractive, sexiest, and treasured boyfriend in the world, and _that_ was arousing enough that Harry knew it wouldn’t take much to make him come.

“Louis, _please_ ,” Harry whined, pushing a tiny bit on Louis’ head.

Louis snorted, but he moved down nonetheless, winking up at Harry as he started unbuttoning the jeans Harry had put back on after showering in the locker room after practice. Harry lifted his hips up to help Louis pull them off, and his briefs immediately after – finally, Louis wasn’t in the mood to tease anymore. 

“Let me see,” Louis said, leaning off the side of the bed for the overnight bag he and Harry had shared. He dug around in it a minute and then straightened back up, leaving a bottle of lube on Harry’s stomach. 

“Mind if I eat you out first?” Louis asked casually, not looking Harry in the eyes. Probably not wanting to put Harry on the spot. 

“I’ll – I’ll come, probably, if you do,” Harry said honestly. He _really_ wanted Louis’ fingers. It didn’t feel good at all when he did it himself. 

“I can always make you come again,” Louis answered, “but if you don’t want to, that’s –”

“I – again?” Harry asked, surprised. “Like, later tonight?”

“Like, right after the first,” Louis corrected, rubbing up and down the tops of Harry’s thighs. 

Harry’s eyes widened. “You can do that?” He asked. He must have missed that part in sex ed.

“ _You_ can do that,” Louis answered, his lips curving up into a smile. “You’ve never made yourself come twice in a row?” He asked, sinking down to lay on his stomach between Harry’s legs.

Harry pushed himself up with his hands behind his back and stared down at Louis. “N-no,” he answered truthfully. “I – it gets, like, a little sensitive, doesn’t it? I figured that was my body’s way of telling me to stop.”

“Oh, it’ll be sensitive,” Louis warned, kissing between Harry’s thighs. Harry’s penis twitched. “Might even hurt, a little bit. But in my opinion, the second one is even better than the first.”

Harry panted. His orgasms with Louis were always incredible. “That’s amazing,” he said. “Yeah, let's – yeah. Please.”

He promptly flopped back down on the bed, a pillow cushioning his head. Louis pushed a pillow underneath Harry’s hips, pushed Harry’s legs open as they could go, and pulled his cheeks apart. 

“I can’t believe it’s been so – _oh!_ Oh…oh, my gosh.” Harry’s breath came out on a whine, because Louis didn’t warm him up – he went straight to town, his tongue flickering over Harry’s hole. 

Harry’s toes curled immediately and he clawed at the bedding, trying not to touch his erection because he knew it would take next to nothing to make him come and he wanted to enjoy it as long as possible. Louis hummed, his tongue right against the muscle of Harry’s hole, and the vibrations made Harry arch up, Louis having to grab hold of Harry’s hips to keep him still. 

“Oh! Louis, I’m –” Harry muffled his mouth as he came, a groan escaping and hopefully quieted enough that nobody woke up or heard it. Louis kept licking at Harry’s hole through the orgasm, getting it wet and messy, and by the time Harry was blinking his eyes open, Louis was already in to the second knuckle. 

Well, at least there wasn’t anything to be nervous about. 

Louis kissed Harry’s thighs as he wiggled his finger around inside of Harry, and Harry took a few deep breaths and rolled his hips infinitesimally, just to feel Louis’ finger inside him a little more. Louis rubbed at Harry’s inner walls with the finger, pressing on them and stretching him out a little bit as he kissed up and down Harry’s thighs. Louis sucked the crease of his thigh, where that tiny bit of extra fat always lived, no matter how hard Harry ran or did squats, and Harry closed his eyes, tilting his face up. As if that’d make it more bearable. 

By the time Harry was ready for a second finger, he was shocked so find himself still a little hard. He tugged at his penis a few times, and it hurt, but Louis was adding another finger (finally) and Harry stopped caring about much else. 

Louis scissored his fingers open as he gently pushed against Harry’s hole, not really dragging them back out but pulsing back in and relaxing them. Louis’ knuckle stayed rested against Harry’s bum, no matter how Harry writhed or moved around. 

“Gonna come, babe?” Louis asked, staring up at Harry before he leaned down and _licked between his spread-open fingers_. Harry felt Louis’ tongue go inside him and had to bite down on the flesh of his forearm, tugging on his erection because he was _so_ close to his second orgasm. 

“I – _oh_! Oh, god, Louis – Lou, let me – keep doing that, _please_ ,” he moaned against his arm. He stroked his erection faster and faster, and it hurt so badly, but Louis’ tongue inside him and Louis’ fingers inside him stretching him out made Harry feel like he could faint. 

He came, his leg spasming and nearly kicking Louis in the ribs, and his arm would surely have the bite marks on it in the morning. 

Louis pulled his fingers out gently while Harry was still stroking himself through his orgasm, but when he finished, Louis climbed back up the bed and lay down next to him, their clammy, sweaty bodies pressed together. Louis gave Harry time to relax, but when Harry turned and looked over at him, Louis grinned and leaned in for a kiss Harry gladly returned. 

Louis cupped the side of Harry’s face and kissed him until Harry _had_ to get air that wasn’t Louis’ carbon dioxide exhalant, and pulled away, both of them rolling onto their backs and staring at the ceiling.

“Underwear,” Louis said finally.

“What?” Harry asked, giggling and looking over at Louis’ profile.

“Underwear,” he repeated, and swallowed. “We should put some on. The girls…”

“Right,” Harry said, rolling his head back to stare at the ceiling. They really should do that. With a sigh, he sat up and rolled his legs around to the edge of the bed, only for Louis to grab his wrist and yank him back down. Harry let out a too-loud yelp as he fell back, his head falling right onto Louis’ stomach. Louis let out an _oof_ at the impact, but Harry once again dissolved into quiet giggles that Louis quickly echoed. 

“Not yet,” Louis said. “We can put clothes on in a minute. Right now, I just want you here. Be close to me for now.” 

He rubbed Harry’s still-sweaty chest, and Harry shifted over, moving so his head was on Louis’ tummy, rather than half on his ribcage. Once he was still, Louis’ other hand moved into Harry’s curls and scrunched them up, immediately playing with them happily. Harry sighed and reached an arm back, wrapping it around the inside of Louis’ knee. His elbow brushed Louis’ flaccid penis, and Harry blushed a little bit, but Louis didn’t react either way, so Harry just sighed and closed his eyes, reveling in Louis’ company. 

“We’ll do it in a minute,” Louis said after a minute of silence. 

They fell asleep naked.

\---

The next morning, Jay somehow managed to keep the girls out of Louis’ room long enough that they could put on clothes hurriedly. Harry wiggled into his jeans, forgetting that Louis hadn’t really seen his new skinny jeans except over Skype. Louis’ own weren’t _much_ looser, but he didn’t quite have to jump into his, so he laughed until he had to sit down on the edge of his bed as he watched Harry’s “Operation: Skinny Jeans” take place. It was a pretty delicate procedure, and it left Harry flushing, but Louis promised, when Harry was finally tucked, zipped, and buttoned, that it was worth it to see Harry’s legs in all their glory, which, of course, made Harry beam for the next twenty minutes. 

When Louis opened the door, the twins were leaning against the wall directly opposite it, and it made Harry distinctly glad they hadn’t tried to do _stuff_ , because they surely would’ve been heard. 

“Lou!” One of the twins said. Harry had spent time with them since Louis had left, but he still had trouble telling them apart.

“Dais!” Louis responded, and Harry made the mental note that Phoebe was wearing the shirt with flowers; Daisy was wearing a shirt with birds. 

Daisy ran and clung to Louis, wrapping her arms around both his thighs, and Phoebe’s smile was a little watery as she did the same. “See, Phoebe, I _told_ you Lou would be here in the next day. I told you!”

“Aw, be nice, Daisy,” Louis said gently, and picked Phoebe up, sending Harry a heartbroken look as Phoebe wrapped her arms and legs around Louis and immediately started sniffling into his neck. 

“I was afraid you were gonna go away again,” she whined, her voice muffled and distorted by Louis’ neck and her tears that Harry barely understood it. Daisy rested her head against Louis’ hip and reached up to pat Phoebe’s lower back.

Louis swallowed tightly. “Well, Pheebs, I _do_ have to go away again,” he confessed. Both twins pulled back and looked horrified. “But I’m here for a few more days, okay? And when I go, I still get to come back for Thanksgiving, and Christmas, too.”

“They aren’t gonna keep you for one hundred days, this time?” Daisy asked, a scowl on her face, and Louis chuckled. 

“Not one hundred,” he said, and leaned down so he could hug both the girls. “Hey, look at me,” he said, and Phoebe pulled back and Daisy looked up. Eyes flicking between both of them, Louis said seriously, “I will _always_ come back, okay? Maybe not as often as I wish I could, but it’s only because I _have_ to go to school. But I’ll _always_ come back, and if you miss me a whole lot, you can ask Mum to call, or to Skype, just like we’ve been doing, okay? The only time I’ll say no is if I’m in class or at practice. Swear.”

And it was absolutely true. There had been several times where Louis had had to hang up on Harry to accept a call from his mum, one or a few or all of the girls wanting to talk to Louis. He usually called right back, but there were a few times the girls had talked so long that Louis’ battery had died, or he was late for a class, or something. Harry didn’t mind. As much as he loved talking to Louis and missed him with all his heart, he knew the girls had known Louis their entire lives. Plus, Harry could always use the time _not_ spent talking to Louis to work on his homework. His grades had slipped from mostly A’s to a pretty even split between A’s and B’s. Part of Harry wanted to claim that it was because he was in his junior year and all the work was much harder, but he truthfully knew it was because he wasn’t studying nearly as much as he used to. 

Harry and Louis spent the day with Louis’ family. They watched a few family movies together, and went to the park all together (though Lottie sat on a bench a few feet from Harry and stayed on her phone while everyone else played). When the twins complained that they were getting hungry, Harry’s stomach growled (because he and Louis had slept through breakfast) and Lottie told Jay that he was hungry, as well, so they all went to dinner at a Chinese buffet. Watching Louis eat now was actually kind of hilarious, though it made Harry wonder if he was really eating enough when he was away at college. Louis stuffed his face, eating four plates of little else but all the different kinds of chicken and fish. Harry snorted several times at his lack of table manners as well, and he had to tell Louis there was sauce on his face more than once. The girls thought it was _hilarious_ , and Jay just rolled her eyes. 

Louis teased Harry quietly about how many vegetables and fruit Harry chose to eat, and asked if Harry was slowly becoming a vegetarian. Harry blushed and shook his head, not wanting to say out loud that he was trying to take care of his body so Louis wouldn’t mind…tasting him. If he wanted to. To cover it, Harry’s next plate was _loaded_ with bread and egg rolls.

Thankfully, Louis dropped it when Phoebe asked Louis to take her to get dessert. 

After lunch, they were all too full to feel like going back to the park, so they went and rented more movies to watch and went home. A few too many Disney movies and ocean documentaries later, Jay and Harry cooked chicken parmesan and they sat down at the table together. When the plates were cleared, they broke out Uno, Harry on Daisy’s team and Phoebe on Louis’. Harry and Daisy slammed Louis with Draw Four after Draw Four until Phoebe started getting upset, and one by one, the girls drifted off upstairs to go to bed, like a repeat of the night before. 

Just before Jay went off to bed, she asked Louis, “Want to go to church with us in the morning?”

Louis blinked at her while Harry watched, unsure of how Louis would react. 

When everything had happened at Harry’s old house, and the girls lost their dad, Jay decided they needed some spirituality in them, and had started bringing the girls to church. Louis never went – it wasn’t really his thing, and he didn’t really believe in God – but even while Louis was gone, Jay got up every single Sunday morning and took the girls to church. Harry had gone a few times, more to hang out with Louis’ family than because he was particularly interested in becoming close to God – he still had too many questions to really be sure of anything – but he had a fine enough time. It wasn’t really awful, or anything, though he didn’t much appreciate waking up early to meet them. 

“I’m good,” Louis simply said, resting his head on Harry’s as they snuggled on the couch. 

“Harry?” Jay offered, though her face was amused, like she already knew what the answer would be. 

Harry gave her a half-hearted apologetic smile. “I’m – no, thanks,” he said. “Maybe next week?”

“Sure,” she said warmly, and leaned in to kiss both their foreheads as she left upstairs, leaving Harry and Louis to finish their movie. 

All the carbs had gotten to Harry, though, and he actually fell asleep on the couch, on his side with Louis’ body as his backrest and Louis’ arm as his pillow as they watched some old Ben Stiller movie. It had Louis laughing nonstop, and the next thing Harry knew, he was half awake as Louis pulled on his hand, dragging him up the stairs and taking his shirt off. He left Harry in his jeans, but Harry was too tired to care much. With his eyes still closed, Harry pressed a kiss to wherever on Louis’ body was closest to his mouth and quickly drifted back to sleep. 

\---

When Harry woke up, he noticed they were laying differently than usual. Instead of Harry being the little spoon and Louis being the big, Louis was laying flat on his back. Harry’s head was resting on Louis’ shoulder, his arms around Louis’ torso, and one leg bent up at an angle to rest between Louis’ legs. As Harry wiggled a little, Louis’ arms tightened around him, and he grumbled a little. 

Looking up at Louis, Harry had to smile. He looked petulant, even in his sleep, every time Harry moved. His arms would tighten, his eyebrows would curve in, and his mouth would slope into a frown. Once Harry got still, his features would slowly soften up and his head would tilt just a little more to the side, like he was fully relaxed. 

A glance at the clock told Harry it was nearly ten, and while part of Harry groaned at being awake so early on a Sunday, he grinned, scooting up and huffing out a laugh when Louis tightened his arms again and snuffled.

Harry finally reached high enough that he could get to Louis’ neck, and started sucking kisses onto it. He smelled like sweat and sleep, but Harry didn’t really care. After the third mark, Louis started running his fingers up and down Harry’s side, clearly waking up. 

“Good morning,” Harry said quietly, his lips brushing Louis’ skin, and craned his neck to try and suck a bruise onto the underside of Louis’ jawline. Louis hummed, stretching, and turned his head to the side so Harry could attack the other side of his neck. 

Finally, Harry gave up and crawled to straddle Louis, who blearily opened his eyes just a crack to stare at Harry. His hands settled over Harry’s hips and he gripped them, pushing and pulling Harry just enough that – oh. Harry blushed as he felt the erection Louis had. Almost as a reaction, his own penis, still confined in his jeans from the night before, started to fill up. 

“Morning,” Louis said, his voice rough and a little hoarse from all the yelling he’d done the day before, playing with the girls at the playground, pretending to be monsters and a distressed prince in need of saving from the Knights Daisy and Phoebe and the like. 

Harry’s mouth parted on a sigh as he kept moving his hips the way Louis’ hands guided him, and the friction felt good against him. “Sleep well?” He asked, a little breathlessly, and Louis smiled.

“Slept alright, yeah,” he nodded, his hips moving underneath Harry’s, making Harry’s breath catch in his throat. “The wake-up was great, though,” he added with a wink. Harry blushed. 

As Harry slowly moved his hips in an awkward circle, going where Louis’ hands told him to, he slid his hands all over Louis’ new, super-toned body, imagining other ways he could wake Louis up pleasantly – things Niall had told him about, or things that he’d seen in dirty videos. He wished he had the confidence to do something like that – wake Louis up with his mouth around Louis’ penis, or something. He was pretty sure Louis would love it, but Harry wasn’t positive he actually had the guts for something like that. 

He wasn’t sure he had the guts for _anything_ exciting, sexually, that Louis fantasized about.

“Where’s that head of yours at, hmm?” Louis asked, snapping Harry out of his negative thoughts. One hand left Harry’s hip to run over Harry’s torso. He flicked at Harry’s nipple, making Harry swallow down over a cough, and cupped over the back of Harry’s neck. “Stay with me. Come down here; gimme a kiss.”

Harry gave him a reluctant smile and bent down, keeping their hips aligned as best as he could. “I love you,” he whispered on the way, wanting to say it but not wanting to disgust Louis with his morning breath. 

“Love _you_ ,” Louis said, and gave Harry a few little closed-mouthed kisses. When their kisses ended, Louis pulled Harry down even more, hooking his chin over Harry’s shoulder. One hand played with Harry’s curly hair, and another slid down his spine, giving Harry shivers. “Wanna come just like this?” Louis asked, and Harry nodded; he really did. He was pretty close already, just from a little friction and kissing. “Good, I’m close,” Louis said, making Harry feel a little better about his stamina. 

Louis squeezed Harry’s bum with one hand, making Harry moan and turn his face into Louis’ neck, licking over a few of the marks he’d made. Louis uttered a swear word and started rocking his hips up a little harder against Harry’s, the friction _incredible_ , and Harry’s breath was hitching every other rock. 

“Come on, Lou,” he said, awkwardly pushing his bum a little more into the air and trying to rock down on his knees. His position made it a little difficult, but he was trying, and after a few rocks, Harry moaned, long and loud, as he came from the overwhelming sensations. “Keep going,” he told Louis, who had slowed down a bit, and smiled when Louis thanked him. 

It wasn’t long until Louis came, anyways, spilling into his boxers. Harry was starting to register just how gross his jeans and briefs were starting to feel, filled with his sticky come, glossing over his skin. “Ugh,” he groaned, sitting up carefully, so he didn’t brush Louis’ penis. He looked down at his black jeans and saw a wet stain through them. “We only brought one change of clothes,” he whined, and Louis snorted. 

“Back to Friday’s bottoms, then,” he said, rubbing Harry’s thighs with a sleepy, satisfied grin. 

“Do you, like, want to shower?” Harry asked. “With me, I mean,” he clarified when Louis opened his mouth. 

Louis’ lips split into a grin. “Want me to?” He asked, and Harry chewed on his lip as he nodded.

“If you want,” he said, eyes flickering from Louis to his hands, picking at the underneath of his fingernails. “Obviously, like, you don’t have –”

“Yeah,” Louis said. He grabbed Harry’s hands and surrounded them, pulling them apart so he’d stop picking at himself. “Of course,” he added. “I’ll never _not_ want to shower with you.”

Warmth filled Harry’s chest and he smiled down at Louis’ stomach. A moment later, he grimaced and wiggled. “We should do it now, then,” he said wryly, and Louis laughed but agreed. 

Harry led the way to the bathroom, Louis following right behind him, and once they were in there and the door was shut behind them, he turned around and faced Louis, chewing on his lip. 

“Let me get the water warmed up first,” Louis said, and Harry leaned against the sink as he watched Louis fiddle with the knobs to get it just right. When they were fixed, Louis straightened up and faced Harry, sighing like he was feeling the nerves Harry was, even though they’d already showered together before. “You sure?” He asked after a moment of them staring at each other.

Harry blushed, but he nodded, and took a halting step forward, raising his arms to the waistband of Louis’ boxers. Keeping eye contact, Harry pulled them down, past the real meat of his thighs until they fell on their own, pooling at his feet. 

Louis stood naked in front of Harry, arms relaxed at his sides and he didn’t even look nervous. Harry was so envious of his confidence. 

“Ready?” Louis asked, moving his hands down Harry’s torso, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Harry nodded, and Louis leaned forward to kiss him as he unbuttoned and unzipped Harry’s jeans and started working them down his hips. He laughed a little when he had to really _shove_ , and ended up nearly pushing Harry over, sending Harry’s arms flailing out a little. “These jeans are a blessing and a curse,” he muttered, grinning at Harry’s blush. 

“More of a blessing, I’d hope,” Harry mumbled, earning a gentle little bite to his bottom lip.

“ _Definitely_ more of a blessing,” Louis confirmed, letting out a goofy _ha!_ of victory when the jeans fell. Harry’s briefs went down quickly, and Harry grimaced when he saw his come drying on himself. Louis held his hand while Harry stepped out of the clothes. 

The mirrors were starting to fog up out at the edges, but Louis turned Harry around anyways and made him look at the mirror. “Look at you,” he said, and Harry looked himself. For a few seconds, he noted the few love bites littering his chest and the side of his neck, saw the flush of his skin, and the brightness of his eyes, how swollen and dark his lips looked. He saw his penis was starting to take interest. 

Then, Louis stepped up right behind him and hooked his chin over his shoulder – Harry tried not to smirk when he realized Louis was on his toes – and wrapped his arms around Harry’s stomach, his much more tanned skin contrasting against Harry’s paleness. Louis kissed the side of Harry’s neck and then looked into the mirror, watching Harry’s face in his reflection. 

“Why am I looking at myself?” Harry asked finally, blushing and looking away. 

Louis reached up and tapped on Harry’s chin, making him look back to the mirror. “Because,” he said. “I – this sounds dumb and cheesy, and I _know_ you have reasons and, like, part of it is just that you’re more of a private kind of person, but I hate that you don’t realize just how _much_ you are. You’re _so_ gorgeous, and you’re _so_ sexy, and hot, and – everything, like, all of that physicality is there, and you’re so body-conscious and that’s fine, you know, like, I just want you to see what I see: this intelligent, kind, brave person…who is also _so_ Goddamn attractive that I literally have to compartmentalize _when_ it’s appropriate for me to think about him just so I don’t get hard in the middle of Physics class, or something.”

Harry was bright red by then, but he snorted unattractively at that, and allowed himself to relax back into Louis’ arms and rest his head against the side of Louis’. “You know – like, you always make me feel so good about myself,” he admitted. “Regardless of what we’re doing, I never worry – well, I mean, I _do_ , but not that –” Harry huffed and paused for a second, getting his thoughts together. “I never worry that you’re going to think I’m ugly, or something, and not want me anymore. Like, I know that for as long as you _love_ me, it won’t matter how I look, because you’ll also love how I look. Does that make sense?”

“Perfect sense,” Louis quipped, adding a kiss to his cheek, “because it’s perfectly true. And it’s a long time, since I plan to love you forever.”

Harry couldn’t control the way his grin expanded, and yes, Louis had been right – it _was_ cheesy; it was _incredibly_ cheesy – but Harry loved it all the same. “Let’s get into the shower, you nerd,” he teased, and Louis playfully pinched his hip, but they moved to the shower nonetheless.

“And no funny business,” Harry warned, though he hated to say it. “Mum and Robin are expecting us for lunch.”

“Right,” Louis said, patting Harry’s bum when he got in first. “Guess you’ll have to work hard to resist me,” he joked. 

Harry looked back at him reproachfully. “I _will_ have to work at it,” he said seriously, glancing down at Louis’ penis. He kind of wanted to get him off again. 

But he refrained – power of will, and all that. He didn’t get Louis off. Instead, he washed his hair, and let Louis wash his own hair after, scrubbing his body completely clean while he watched Louis do the same. 

“So, after lunch, what’s the plan?” Louis asked, washing Harry’s back for him. Harry hummed from how good Louis’ loofah felt against his back. 

“Lunch with Mum and Robin at the park, then the Plex, because I haven’t been in a while and we haven’t been on a date in forever,” Harry said. He moved under the spray once Louis was done, and added, “And dinner is up to you, and whatever else we do tonight. If we do anything else. I don’t really care.” 

“Easy to please,” Louis said, rubbing the soap off his body underneath the spray. 

Harry laughed. “You know me,” he said. “I still can’t believe you’re even _here_. _Or_ that all my friends knew and I didn’t.”

Harry had found that out the day before. He made Louis take a few pictures with him (and only _most_ of them went up on Instagram; he was proud of his self-control), and he sent the sappiest, lamest one, a picture of Harry making an excited face while Louis kissed his cheek, in a group message to Liam, Zayn, Niall, and Stan, who all sent back some variation of, “Glad he got there safe! It was so hard keeping it a secret from you!” (except for Zayn, who just sent back, _aha!x(:_ and nothing else).

As they climbed out of the shower, Louis threw a towel to Harry and laughed when it hit him square in the face. “My poor baby,” he crooned when Harry pretended to pout, and came over, still naked, and wrapped the towel around him so gently and tenderly that Harry had to laugh. Louis kept up the pretense and dried Harry off completely, even getting the crease of his thigh, though he did slow down and give Harry’s stomach a kiss as he neared his groin. 

Then, he stood back up and ruffled a towel through Harry’s hair despite Harry’s protests that it would make his hair a frizzy mess. “You can throw on a beanie,” Louis reasoned, ignoring Harry’s eye roll. “All dry; let’s go get dressed! We’re behind schedule, young man,” he added in a low, rough voice that Harry had never heard before, and it made him laugh. 

“Who was that supposed to be?” He asked on the way to the bedroom. 

“My coach,” Louis said with a laugh. “He’s got the deepest voice _ever_ ; he’s terrifying. Like the AllState commercial guy; it’s seriously so deep. When he yells, I nearly shit myself every time.”

Harry laughed, trying to imagine a man with a voice that deep, and then he saw that it was already eleven. “Crap,” he said, “we’re going to be late.”

“Not if you drive fast,” Louis reassured Harry. “Hurry up, or we’ll be late regardless!”

\---

Harry was pretty excited for this lunch with his mum and Robin. He’d told Louis, of course, of all the progress he’d been making with Robin, but Louis would be able to actually _see_ it. Harry, his mum, and Robin had been hanging out a lot together over the last few months, and with Harry going to therapy every week, now, he felt like he and Robin were so much better. They weren’t exactly best mates, or anything, but Harry felt like he was actually getting to _know_ Robin, and vice versa. 

Once everything had happened with Harry’s real dad and Mark, Harry had backtracked a lot with Robin, which had been incredibly frustrating – partly because Harry _knew_ , objectively, that Robin was a good guy and meant Harry or his mum no harm, but it was a mental thing; and partly because Harry wanted his mum to have that reassurance. Robin was good for her, and seeing the doubt and worry in her eyes every time Harry flinched drove Harry insane. 

Now, though, Harry didn’t often flinch, or get nervous, even. He would get a little anxious, sometimes, and they all sort of avoided Harry being alone with Robin just out of common sense, but Harry could talk to Robin, have actual (albeit small) conversations and interact with him just fine, and they did something at least once a week, almost always out in the open. Anne loved being outside, and it was easier for Harry to relax if he was outside, in public, and Robin was on board for anything that made them feel happy or more secure, so they ended up having picnics often. 

As Harry pulled up to the park, he stopped the car and touched Louis’ hand to get his attention. When Louis looked over at him, Harry pouted his lips out and raised his eyebrows, and Louis’ questioning expression gave way to fondness as he leaned in and gave Harry a quick kiss. 

“Come on, before you distract me,” he said, and then gave Harry another kiss just because before he got out of the car.

Harry’s mum and Robin were already on a giant picnic blanket, a large laundry basket with another blanket thrown over it sitting next to Anne. As they approached, Robin leaned in and gave Anne a cute little kiss that had Harry smiling. He felt Louis’ gaze on him and smiled, because he was able to be completely relaxed when they were outside like this. And Louis would be able to see it!

“Hi,” Harry greeted. He bent down and kissed his mum’s cheek and then clapped Robin on the arm from arm’s length away before he sat down next to his mum, Louis following behind to kiss Anne and give Robin a friendly half-hug. Louis sat down right next to Harry and set himself up so he was just slightly in front of him, Harry noticed with part-amusement and part-fondness. Harry trusted Robin pretty well, by then, but it still warmed his whole body to see Louis looking out for him. He was probably more concerned for Harry’s mind than he was Harry’s actual safety – if Robin had wanted to harm Harry, he had chances long before this – and if it were anyone else, it probably would’ve bothered Harry, but he knew it was a _thing_ for Louis. Louis had to protect; it was sort of just in his nature, and it didn’t come from some negative or patronizing place; it came from a deep-seated need of his own. Harry had long since discovered that, after their long talks over the phone at night or whenever Louis was free. 

Lunch was a laid back affair. Robin talked about work, Harry’s mum talked about work and the support group she volunteered for. That was relatively new – Anne had decided to do something positive with the struggles she’d gone through with Harry and Des (both times) and found this shelter in a town just outside of Marshall. She joined the people in charge of it and started raising a lot of money for the shelter to give the women better opportunities, and she just sort of kept at it. It made her happy, and Harry thought it might be a little therapeutic for her sometimes, to be able to speak freely about the things that had happened with her and Harry and know it wouldn’t get around anywhere. 

Louis talked about school and football, his new coach and his roommate Dougie and the parties he went to often. He talked about how it was strange sometimes, almost like he was going back to being a party animal like he was before he’d met Harry, a bit, and that he wasn’t sure he liked it as much anymore, though a party every now and then was fun. (He leaned in, then, and told Harry that nothing was as fun as Skyping with him and doing homework together, and as lame as it was, Harry liked hearing it.) He talked about the area around his campus, how cool it was to be close to Disney, and that his team was planning on going before the season properly started as a bonding trip of sorts. Harry had heard most of it, on the phone and Skype with him a few times a week, but he listened raptly, anyway, always happy to hear about Louis’ life, even if sometimes he did get a little pang of _that story should have me in it_ , or _I wish I were there to experience it with him_. He supposed it was probably a slightly healthier break for their relationship, being apart a little, since they tended to spend so much time together before Louis left. 

Harry didn’t talk a whole lot – obviously, Robin and his mum knew all about things happening, as they were there with him, and Louis knew most of it because Harry told him – but he did talk about the new guys on the team, and his new really good friend, Nick, who just got a job at the bakery. Louis knew basic stuff about Nick, but sometimes it was difficult to relay jokes and stories over the phone, so Harry told Louis about some of the funnier stuff Nick did at work while Louis laughed and said Nick seemed like a pretty funny person. Harry was glad Louis agreed. He was pretty sure Louis and Nick would get along _great_ if they ever met. 

“You know, you could meet him,” Harry said. “Like – I have a shift tomorrow with him; I was just going to call in but it would give you some time with the girls alone, plus you could come and meet him towards the end of the shift, if you want?”

“That’s a great idea,” Harry’s mum said. “Oh, I _love_ Nick, he’s so funny and charming. He’s almost like a mix of you two, come to think of it!”

Louis shrugged and smiled. “Sure,” he said, “I’d like to meet him, absolutely!”

And that was that. 

The lunch was nice, very low-key, and Harry was maybe showing off, just a little, how _fine_ he was with Robin. He didn’t usually push it like this, and really only talked to Robin if Robin talked first, but with Louis there, he felt like he could go even further. He started a conversation with Robin about politics, and Robin – who was so left-wing he almost went back around to the right – was very passionate. Six months ago, his passion would’ve terrified Harry. Now, though, he only swallowed a little more when Robin’s voice started getting louder, and when Anne jokingly interrupted him to lighten the mood, Harry was able to get over himself and play Devil’s advocate and talk about the Republicans’ perspective and let Robin debate over it. 

So, yeah. He was definitely showing off. But the proud way Louis looked at him made him feel like he was floating, right off the picnic blanket and into the clouds, where he could fly around in the sky and have the feeling of Louis’ pride forever. 

After lunch, Harry and Louis went to the Plex. Harry paid for their tickets, insisting on it. “You paid for gas _all_ the way down here,” he said stubbornly. “Let _me_ take _you_ on a date, for once. Please?”

Louis didn’t seem to mind that much, in the end, and he gave in with a smile and leaned in to kiss Harry’s temple. “Sure thing,” he said, and pushed his wallet back into his back pocket. Harry loved him. 

“Two,” he said, turning back to the woman at the counter. He pulled out the bills and passed them over to her, and grinned. 

\---

Harry and Louis had never gone to the Plex on a date. Louis couldn’t actually remember the last time he’d been, and Harry hadn’t been in a month or so since he and Nick had gone to play putt-putt after work one day. 

When they got their wristbands put on, Harry led Louis outside, where there were a myriad of games they could go do. There were batting cages, a go-cart race track, a boat thing where they could spray each other, a putt-putt course, and a laser-tag course. 

“What do you want to do?” Harry asked, squeezing Louis’ hand. Louis looked around eagerly, but Harry noticed how his eyes kept going back to the go-carts, so he laughed and started walking towards it. Louis lit up, though he tried to be a little more casual about it seconds later, and when they got up to the line, the man standing there looked incredibly bored. He barely glanced at their wrists before letting them in, asking them to choose a car at the front of the line since nobody else would be joining them. He explained the safety procedures with a bored, monotonous expression, and when he went back to his podium to press all the buttons, Louis waved at Harry to get his attention.

“You’re going _down_ , Styles,” he yelled over the loud motors of the cars, adopting a facial expression like the ones gangsters used in movies from the fifties. 

Harry laughed and yelled back, “I bet driving that fancy car of yours has its downsides! Probably can’t handle a _real_ engine. Can you say horsepower?! _You’re_ gonna eat my dust!” He had no idea what he was saying, really, but Louis took it as an insult it was intended to be, and let out a wordless cry, focusing on the traffic light hanging above them. 

Finally, the employee changed it to green and they took off like thirty-mile-an-hour rockets, which wasn’t very fast but fast enough, in their tiny little cars that they _felt_ like they were properly racing, wind blowing through their hair and stinging their eyes as they raced around the track. Louis played dirty, swerving in front of Harry and zig-zagging to try and prevent him from getting in front, but on a huge curve, Louis couldn’t hold the inside so Harry drove right past him, laughing and holding a fist up in victory. 

They ended up racing for nearly an hour. Sometimes there were other people who joined in, in which case Harry and Louis became a team and fought to win together. Every time Harry did an underhanded, sneaky move, Louis shouted praises to him that were so ludicrous (like “Harry, you’re the victor of my loins!”) that they had Harry laughing hard enough to nearly crash into the bumpers of the track. 

One girl raced for four rounds until, when they were going back into the parking zone after their round was over, Louis called, “Wanna go golf?” and Harry had agreed. 

When they got out of the cars, they met on the sidewalk, giggling, and Louis gave Harry a sweet little kiss and twisted their hands together.

“So, you guys are, like, together?” The girl asked, coming up behind them.

“Yeah,” Louis said, squeezing Harry’s hand, and they both smiled at her. 

“Oh,” she said, and looked between the two of them with a blank look on her face. Harry squirmed, wondering if she was about to start saying something rude. He really didn’t like confrontation, and he wanted to have just an all-around positive trip for Louis and him. “You guys are really cute together,” she said finally, surprising them both, if the sound Louis made in the back of his throat was anything to judge by. 

“Well,” Harry said, his smile growing, “thank you. Thanks very much.”

“Do you want me to take a picture of you guys on your date?” She asked, and Harry whipped out his phone ridiculously fast – fast enough to make Louis chuckle.

As the girl stepped back a few steps, Louis wrapped his arm around Harry’s waist and they both instinctively turned in a little more towards each other. Harry rested his head against Louis’ and put a hand on his chest, and the girl snapped a few pictures just in case before giving the phone back to them. Harry thanked her, and she went back to her group of friends near the batting cages, so Harry and Louis made their way over to the station to get the clubs and the golf balls. “She was nice,” he commented idly, and Louis agreed.

“Always nice when people aren’t dicks about your boyfriend,” he said, tugging gently on a little spring of Harry’s curls. 

When they went to golf, Louis got a blue club and ball and Harry got pink, and Harry won even though Louis played so dirty and talked too much trash it was pathetic. 

“Don’t have my baby sister around to blame for your low score this time,” he said, reminding Harry of the first time he met Louis’ sisters and mum, when they’d gone out to play putt-putt. Harry and Louis had each had a twin and their scores were pretty low. Or high, depending on how he looked at it. 

But Harry only raised a brow over his shoulder. “Are you implying your five-year-old sisters are to blame for bad golf scores?” He asked. “Are you implying those sweet, sweet souls are bad golfers?”

Louis giggled, trying for a smirk at the same time and ending up with the strangest sound _and_ facial expression Harry’d ever experienced with him. Harry ignored him and stood in his place at the first hole, and if he was sticking his bum out just a _little_ more than he typically would, well, nobody had to know.

“ _Hakunah matatta_!” Louis coughed loudly just as Harry lined up for his first swing. Harry, startled by the noise, hit the ball _way_ too hard and it hit the opposite wall and rolled right back down to him. Harry’s grin showed through his attempt at a glare, but Louis didn’t even see it because he was laughing too hard. 

“No cheating,” Harry whined. 

“Right, right, of course,” Louis said. He let Harry take his shot in peace, and when Louis bent over to take his, Harry let out a wolf-whistle that had Louis grinning over at him and throwing a wink. “Come and get it, big boy,” he said in a husky, seductive voice that made Harry blush. Louis laughed at his blush and took his shot…which was so awful that Harry had to press his lips together to keep from laughing at him. 

They played the nine hole putt-putt game and several times, Harry noticed Louis fiddling with the necklace he still wore, usually when he was looking off and thinking about random things, or watching Harry take his turn. Harry ended up winning, giving out a quiet triumphant cry and made a show of kissing his golf ball and club. Louis scoffed and rolled his eyes and stole the pink ball right out of Harry’s hands, walking up to the counter and giving it to the employee manning the desk, laughing at Harry’s pout. 

“I wanted to Instagram that ball,” he mumbled when Louis put a fake pout on his own face. 

“You and Instagram,” Louis laughed. “You’re so ridiculous!”

“ _You’re_ ridiculous,” Harry said retorted lamely, though there was no heat behind it and he was grinning. “You just didn’t want the people of Instagram to know that I beat you in putt-putt.”

Louis gasped, covering his chest. “That is _so_ untrue,” he lied. “I beat you fair and square.”

Harry squawked. “You had to take fourteen shots on hole six!” He laughed as they moved on toward the arcade games.

Louis tried his hand at a balloon-popping game he was actually pretty good at, and he played it for several rounds while Harry watched, stupidly amazed at how good Louis was at the game. Harry tried (and failed) at a basketball game, and Louis and Harry both raced each other in a water pistol game where they had to keep steady pressure on a target long enough to raise the bar to the top, which was difficult because the water gun’s pressure changed randomly; whoever won got the tickets. (Harry’s better understanding of angles and water pressure had him killing Louis in that one, and he ended up winning the tickets four of the five rounds they played.)

On the way home, they were peaceful and quiet, holding hands over the armrest between their seats. On a left turn, Harry glanced over at Louis and noticed he was rubbing the little pendant again with his free hand, and frowned. Squeezing Louis’ hand, Harry asked, “Everything okay?”

“Of course,” Louis said, smiling. He brought Harry’s hand up to kiss it. “Why do you ask?”

Harry shrugged. “Just wondering,” he said. Hesitating a little, he asked, “Is the necklace irritating your skin? You don’t have to wear it…”

Louis looked down at his hand over the charm, giving himself a double chin for a second. He seemed surprised to find it in his hand, but he smiled to himself and shook his head. “Of course,” he said. “It’s not bothering me. I don’t even realize I’m doing it, I guess. Dougie says he can always tell when I’m thinking about you.”

Harry wasn’t quite sure if Louis was changing the subject or not. “Why’s that?” He asked, frowning.

“Because apparently, I always mess with this,” he tugged lightly on the necklace, “when I’m talking about you. Or to you. Or thinking about you. Which apparently is pretty often. I don’t know,” he said, lightening his tone and giving Harry a teasing smile. “I don’t know if I believe him. That would mean I like you, or something, and I’m not entirely sure I like you that much.”

“I know what you mean,” Harry answered, nodding seriously. “I don’t like you at all. I’m not even sure why you came here.”

Louis snorted, and Harry’s straight face cracked. By the time they pulled up to Harry’s house, the radio was on and they were casually singing along. 

Dinner was a relatively quiet affair, just Louis, Harry, and Harry’s mum, and they chatted over trivial little things, having gotten the important stuff talked about over lunch. Anne really only spoke up when Louis was already headed to grab his backpack from the guest room; Harry and Louis needed to do homework while they could.

“Harry,” she called. When Harry came back into the kitchen, leaving Louis behind, she asked, “You're going to school tomorrow, aren’t you?”

Harry frowned and leaned against the counter. “Well, I wasn’t planning on it,” he said honestly. “I figured I would hang out with Lou. He’s only got tomorrow and Tuesday; he has to leave before I even wake up for school on Wednesday so he can be back in school on Thursday.”

“Don’t you think _you_ should be in school?” She asked. “I know you want to see him, honey, but you can’t miss two days of school in a row. It’s your junior year, and you’re only allowed so many absences, excused or not.”

“It’s not like I’m taking the _week_ off, Mum,” he argued. “It’s just two days. And plus, I haven’t seen him since August!”

“And you’ll see him in a month for Thanksgiving,” she said back. “Honey, it’s eight hours. Plus, your grades aren’t really good enough to be skipping school. Especially not two days in a row.”

Harry sighed, tipping his head back and glaring at the ceiling. “Can I skip Tuesday if I go tomorrow?” He asked, and swallowed tightly. It felt weird with his neck bent backwards like that.

“Sure,” his mum answered, “but I better not find out about you skipping tomorrow, Harry. Understand?”

Harry huffed and turned his glare to his mum. “Fine,” he said curtly. Without another word, Harry left the kitchen and stalked into his room.

“Everything okay?” Louis asked, concerned when Harry shut the door a bit too hard and flopped face-first onto his bed.

Turning his head to face away from Louis and still breathe, Harry muttered, “Mum’s being stupid.”

Louis rolled over once so he could rub Harry’s back. “What’s she doing?”

Abruptly feeling kind of stupid for whining about his mum and throwing a fit in front of Louis, Harry made a frustrated noise. Honestly, he was so immature sometimes. “I can’t skip tomorrow. She said my grades aren’t good enough to skip two days in a row.”

“I thought you said you’re making all A’s?” Louis asked, confused, and Harry shut his eyes, because _crap_. He’d forgotten about that particular… untruth.

“I lied,” he admitted in an embarrassed mumble. “I’m mostly getting B pluses.”

Louis chuckled a little in what Harry hoped was sympathy and understanding. “Turn over, let me see you,” Louis prompted. Harry did, and Louis immediately started smoothing hair back from his face. “Hey,” he said.

“Hi,” Harry answered, frowning. He felt dumb.

“Stop that,” Louis said, poking at the curve of Harry’s lip where it turned into a frown. _Louis_ frowned, and pushed the curve up so Harry was half-frowning, half-smiling, and Harry had to laugh at the look on Louis’ face. Louis’ finger fell away and the frown on his handsome face smoothed out. “There we go,” he said, and wiggled so he was eye level with Harry. “Hey,” he said, a little more seriously, “why’d you lie about your grades? It’s just me; it’s not like I was valedictorian or anything.”

Harry shrugged. “I didn’t want you to think you were distracting me, or anything,” he said.

“Am I?” Louis asked. “You always got A’s before; now you’re getting B’s.”

“B _pluses_ ,” Harry quickly corrected him. Louis didn’t look amused. “It’s just because I’m not really paying attention in class as much, and I’m going out a little more, like with the boys and Nick, instead of studying.”

Louis nodded, but he still looked pretty serious, and Harry’s heart sank a little. He knew what was coming. “How about we don’t call each other until our homework’s done, then?” Louis asked. “I know it sucks,” he added, probably because Harry immediately put on a pouty face, “but neither of us can afford slipping grades. I get a lot of my homework done during the two hours of study hall a week the athletes _have_ to go to, but I could always use more studying. Never can have too much study time, right?”

“That’s wrong, actually,” Harry mumbled, but he knew Louis didn’t care about the weird statistics he heard on the radio. He sighed. “Fine,” he said, and tried not to sulk so much. “No talking until homework’s done.”

“Unless you want to have homework-slash-Skype dates sometimes,” Louis offered, smiling once Harry nodded. “We can always do those.”

“Okay,” he said, and then remembered the whole reason he was upset in the first place. “What are you gonna do tomorrow all day while I’m at school, though?”

“Well,” Louis thought, rolling onto his back. “I could go up to Kilgore, see Zayn and Stan for a few hours, and come back tomorrow evening. Might even make it back to come meet you when you get off work, depending on when their classes are.”

Harry’s whole mood brightened abruptly. Louis was planning on _leaving_ for Kilgore College Monday evening, spending the night with his mates, and coming back Tuesday morning. “That way, we’re not really losing any time together!” He said excitedly, and Louis grinned. 

“Good,” he said, and pulled his phone from his back pocket. “Let me tell the boys they might be skipping a class or two tomorrow, then.” Harry watched happily as he texted them for a few minutes. “Good,” Louis said with an air of finality. “Now _we_ don’t lose any ‘us’ time, and _I_ won’t lose any ‘bro’ time.”

Harry grinned and rolled onto his side, snuggling up with Louis for a few minutes. “Oh, and Ni and Liam still want to see you, too,” he remembered out of nowhere.

“We can hang out with them tomorrow, after work,” Louis said. “And then Tuesday,” he said quietly, “will be just for us. We can go to the Jungle all day. How’s that sound?”

“Great,” Harry enthused.

“Good,” Louis answered, and kissed Harry. “Now, let’s get some homework done, Mr. B-Plus.”

Harry rolled his eyes at the tease, but he rolled off the bed and grabbed his backpack, anyway, and pulled out his AP U.S. History textbook and a spiral, spreading it out on his half of the bed. 

They studied for a few _hours_ , Louis refusing to take breaks and make out because they needed to “establish a good studying ethic, seriously, sweetheart,” and generally driving Harry crazy. Finally, though, at almost half-past eight, Louis sighed and shut his Spanish homework, rubbing at his eyes. “I’m not gonna pick anything else up; everything’s starting to blur. No mas hablo-ing para me, I think.”

Harry giggled and shut his homework up readily, more than happy to no longer think about the mass murders – genocide, quite frankly – of so many Native American tribes and focus on his super-gorgeous boyfriend on the bed next to him. 

“I had a good time today with you,” he said, straightening up to lay on the pillows, rather than sideways on the bed. He pulled at Louis’ hand to get him to do the same, and immediately curled up around him, laying his head on Louis’ chest. 

Louis wrapped his arms around Harry and hummed, rubbing at his side. “Had a great time,” he agreed. “I miss having all the time in the world to spend with you, doing whatever.”

Harry sighed a little sadly. “I miss it, too,” he said. They lay in quiet for a while, and Harry spent the time thinking about what an incredible boyfriend Louis had been to him the whole time they were together. There had been a few times Louis wasn’t the nicest – the fights they’d had, like about Zayn and about lying, and since Louis had left for UNF they’d gotten in a few arguments, but most of them were borne of frustration, mostly about Louis going out or one of them cancelling Skype dates to do something else with friends. They definitely fought more since Louis had left, but they always realized the things they were fighting for were stupid and made up, agreeing that it was fine for them to go out and do other things but not to break Skype dates or go do something else when they promised to call, things like that. It was a learning curve, and Harry felt that they’d made huge progress with one another and that September and the half of October they’d gone through was almost argument-free and pretty easy going, as far as stress went. 

Not to mention, they spent so much time on the phone in the middle of the night, when Harry had nightmares and couldn’t get back to sleep. Most of the time, he didn’t really need Louis to talk him down, or anything; he just wanted company. Louis almost always fell asleep on him, but Harry didn't really mind; Louis usually stayed awake long enough for Harry to be okay again before he passed out, and when he did fall back to sleep, Harry would hang up and go get on the computer, or just get up early and go work out before he had to get ready for school. Regardless, Louis had helped a lot with Harry’s nightmares, and he’d helped Harry understand the things that Karen said in his weekly therapy sessions – it always was worth it to have a second opinion, and a second view on the things she said. She could be pretty cryptic. 

Harry was pretty sure Louis had fallen asleep when he whispered, “Thank you,” so quietly into Louis’ shirt.

But Louis’ arms tightened around him and he asked, “For what?”

Harry didn’t want to be cheesy and say, ‘for everything’, or ‘for being you’, or something (even though it was true), so he just kissed Louis’ chest and said, “For being so hot.”

Louis snorted and started laughing, his laughter loud and deep against Harry’s ear. “You’re very welcome,” he laughed out. “And thank _you_ , too.”

Harry shrugged and said nonchalantly, “I do what I can,” he said, trying for silly and modest, but he knew Louis saw his blush.

“Goofball,” Louis accused, and stretched his neck to kiss Harry’s head. “Love you.”

“Love you, too,” Harry said. He waited there until Louis’ laughing stopped to shimmy down Louis’ body to where his jeans were buttoned over his hips (because Harry didn’t want Louis effectively laughing at him while he did this), and started taking them off.

“Oh,” Louis said dumbly. “Are we really doing this?”

Harry shrugged. “Mum goes to her room for the night at nine,” he said.

“Your door’s not even locked, is it?” Louis said, his eyes wide. Harry grinned as he shook his head no.

“Doesn’t have a lock,” he explained. 

Louis looked at Harry like he thought he was crazy. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Don’t you?” Harry asked genuinely, pausing on his handling of Louis’ jeans. He glanced down and saw that Louis’ penis _was_ interested, if the way it was getting hard was saying anything. Still, “We don’t have to if you’re not into it,” he said. Of course, Louis knew that.

“I’m –” Louis swallowed, looking at Harry with confusion in his eyes. “You want to do it even though your mum could walk in at any minute? Even though there’s no way she’s asleep yet?”

Harry’s smile was a little wobbly, and he wasn’t sure if he should be embarrassed for thinking that made it _more_ exciting. His heart was beating fast, though, and he wanted it. “I – the floor creaks when anyone passes the hallway,” he said. It was true, at least.

Louis waited a few more moments, looking at Harry like he wasn’t sure, before he nodded. “If you’re sure,” he said, “I’m always up for it.”

“I’m sure,” Harry promised, and kissed the skin right above Louis’ boxer’s waistband. Louis’ breath hitched and Harry pressed his hand to Louis’ penis, which was just starting to get hard as his hips wiggled a little bit, kicking the jeans off the bed completely. “Can I…?” He asked, tucking part of his finger underneath the waistband and popping it against Louis’ tight skin a few times. When Louis nodded, and his hips hitched up a little, Harry pulled them down and off, allowing Louis’ penis – which wasn’t all the way hard, not yet, but it was getting there – to be free. 

Louis bent his legs so they were spread wide, and bent at the knees so they sort of curled around Harry, his toes resting against Harry’s knees as Harry sat back. Harry started at Louis’ penis and ran his hand all around Louis’ groin, where he was hairless and mostly smooth, his pubic hair just starting to really grow back from having been recently shaved. Harry spread his hand out wide just above Louis’ penis, liking the way his palm seemed so big against Louis’ narrow hips. With his free hand, Harry absent-mindedly caressed the top of Louis’ thigh. Harry watched Louis’ penis get harder and jump every once in a while, and Harry licked his lips, feeling hot on the back of his neck because he knew Louis was watching him. 

Harry sank his hand just a little lower and grazed his fingertips over Louis’ balls, and couldn’t help the tiny smirk when Louis’ hips twitched into the touch and Louis swallowed hard. 

Finally, Harry scooted back just a little more and bent over, grabbing the base of Louis’ penis with his whole hand. Louis swallowed a little convulsively, and Harry paused, wondering if he should pull Louis to the edge so he couldn’t hurt him. After a moment, though, he decided against it, and simply watched Louis as he pressed his lips to the head of Louis’ erection, keeping his eyes wide and focused so he would know if Louis started to lose control. 

As soon as the head was in his mouth, Harry felt himself starting to burn, but in a good way. Having Louis’ skin against his made Harry feel incredible, and _right_ , really. It woke Harry up just as it made him fuzzy, a little, and as Harry pulled back off and rubbed his closed lips against the slit of his head, the way Louis was watching him with heavy-lidded eyes made Harry blush and squirm. He could feel his own penis, throbbing and generally getting in the way, but Harry ignored it in favor of pushing his head down a little over the shaft of Louis’ penis. 

Harry stared Louis in the face and bobbed up and down a little, and with his free hand, he drew the very tip of his index finger up the ridge along the bottom of Louis’ penis where his mouth couldn’t reach yet, and then back down. Louis groaned and Harry noticed his hips moving a little restlessly, so he pulled off, not wanting Louis to accidentally scare him or hurt him and then feel wretched. 

Harry stroked Louis’ penis, noting the ragged breaths and the way Louis was staring so intensely at him, chewing his lip like he wanted to pierce it with his own teeth. It looked familiar. “Are you –” Harry started to ask, and then cut himself off. Taking one hand off Louis, Harry pushed his hand between his legs and rubbed at his own erection through his clothes while he returned to sucking at Louis’. 

“ _Fuck_ , Harry,” Louis spat, throwing his head back. His jaw clenched, and Harry pulled off, rubbing himself and stroking Louis faster and faster. 

Harry was starting to feel dizzy with the need to come when Louis swore, and tensed up for a few seconds, before going limp again, like he always did. Harry kept sucking, swallowing the come from Louis’ penis, and swallowed it. It felt weird on his tongue, objectively, but Harry loved it – loved knowing what it meant: that they were each other’s, and that there was part of Louis in Harry and vice versa, since Louis had swallowed Harry’s come loads of times. Plus, he loved the way it made Louis swear every time he saw him doing it. 

Watching Louis come back into the land of the living from his orgasm was hot enough that Harry was close by the time Louis opened his eyes again. 

“Come on, babe,” Louis mumbled, and laced his fingers through Harry’s free hand – the one _not_ rubbing against himself in his clothes. “I want to see your face when you come; it’s so hot how much you like giving blowjobs, babe. Let me see it, yeah?” 

Harry felt his face crumble a little bit when he bit his lip to stop from moaning too loud. He pitched forward as he came and pretty much landed on top of Louis, his hand pressed hard on his crotch and his other tightly squeezing Louis’ fingers. 

Coming down off his orgasm was heavenly, Louis kissing his temple and giving him love and murmuring the simplest, sweetest things, like compliments to how well Harry did and how good he looked. By the time Harry had heard a few, he was blushing and turned his face into Louis’ skin. 

They simply breathed together and Harry eventually rolled off to the side, grimacing as he pushed his bottoms off. A few seconds later with a slightly-ashamed burning on his face, Harry felt a little bit _off_ lying there naked, and stood up to grab some briefs to sleep in. 

Turning back around to face Louis as he pulled them on, Harry glanced at Louis, who was watching from the bed, and chewed his lip. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “You didn’t do anything wrong; I just – I usually sleep in boxers, now.”

“Hey, it’s fine,” Louis interrupted. Harry chewed his lip, feeling a little uncertain, and Louis frowned and spread his arms out wide. “Come back here, yeah?”

Harry walked back over to his bed and Louis pulled the covers back so he could snuggle under them, scooting back until he was pressed, line-by-line, against Louis. Louis slowly wrapped his arms around Harry, like he was giving him the option to say no if he wanted to, but Harry smiled and hummed when Louis’ arm was folded over his stomach, Louis’ hand tucked underneath his body, between Harry’s ribcage and the sheets, holding him close. 

“Go to sleep, sweet boy,” Louis said, and kissed Harry’s head. “I’ll hate you in the morning, when your alarm clock wakes me up.”

Harry laughed, but he _was_ tired, as almost always, after coming, and with Louis’ free arm bent up awkwardly so his hand played in Harry’s hair, it wasn’t long before both of them were asleep, right next to each other, where they both agreed they belonged. 

\---

_Harry felt his heart beating fast and his vision was shaky and a little blurry as he whipped around, looking around the living room. Almost immediately, he registered that he was in his old house._

_His dad was on the floor, already bleeding, and Harry gasped so hard he started coughing to rid himself of the itch in his throat. “Dad?” Harry whispered. His voice echoed, and he squatted and slowly reached out to touch the man when it started raining, inside the house, and Harry started getting wet._

_As Harry reached out to Des, there was a noise behind him, and he jerked his head around. When he saw nothing but the rain in the house, Harry turned back around and laid his hand on his father’s shoulder. Des took a sudden gasp of air, startling Harry into crying out in shock. He slipped from where he was crouching and fell on his arse on the floor, letting out a shocked_ uh _when he made contact._

_Des’ head jerked and he looked right into Harry’s eyes, his mouth gaping as he tried to speak. Harry quickly rolled back up onto his knees and crawled forward, desperate to hear what he was saying._

_“What, Dad?” He asked, and put his ear close to Des’ face. “Say it again, what?”_

_Des took a few struggling breaths, and his shaky hand came up to clutch at Harry’s cheek, pulling him closer. After a few wheezes, Harry heard what he was trying to say._

_“_ This is all your fault _,” he choked, and then went limp, the hand on Harry’s cheek falling back down to the floor._

_“No!” Harry gasped, scooting away from his father. “No, it’s not my fault! I didn’t do it! I didn’t do this! I didn’t do this to you!”_

_He heard sinister, scary-movie-esque laughter echoing into the living room, but Harry didn’t know where it was coming from. He looked up, to see if he could see anything over the banister of the stairs, and felt the rain on his face, coming down fast and hot. Harry’s heartbeat sped up, and he wiped the water off his face, only to have a splash of red on the pale skin of his hand catch his eye._

_Blood._

_It was raining blood._

“Harry!” 

Harry woke up with a horrified gasp, feeling hands on his shoulders, shaking him. It didn’t take but a few seconds to realize where he was: his new house, in his new bed, Louis halfway on top of him, shaking at him urgently and saying his name with panic in his voice. 

Des was dead. Mark was dead. Though he could feel the phantom blood on his skin, there wasn’t any there; his skin was clean, covered only in sweat. 

“Harry!” Louis was still saying, and he pressed two fingers against the pulse beating in Harry’s throat. “Shit,” he swore. “Fuck. Harry, are you –”

“I’m okay,” Harry gasped, and laid back against the bed. Louis was still watching him; he could feel it, but they both stayed silent while Harry’s breathing evened out a little more. He closed his eyes for a minute, until the feeling of the wetness of the sweat on his body started driving him crazy. “I need a shower,” he said, and abruptly started crawling out of bed, scratching at his skin. It felt _dirty_ , and he had to stand still in the middle of his room and remind himself that there wasn’t any blood on him, that the wetness on his skin was just sweat. 

Once he’d pretty much convinced himself, Harry looked back at Louis, who was half-sitting, half-laying, as if he weren’t sure what would be best for Harry. Harry realized suddenly that Louis hadn’t seen him after a nightmare in months. At least he was doing better than he was right after _it_ happened. At least he wasn’t crying, or screaming. Louis could deal with a little heavy breathing. 

“Wanna come with me?” Harry offered, mostly out of pleasantry. 

Louis hesitated, and asked, “Do you want me to come, sweetheart? Would that be – I dunno, like, would that be okay with you right now?”

Harry shrugged honestly, biting his lip. “Not sure,” he said. “We’ve never done it.”

While Louis thought it over, Harry moved to his desk and took out a buspar, grabbing the water bottle from his desk and swallowing it instantly. He grimaced at the feeling of it going down his throat, but knew it’d be for the best. A look to his clock told him it was nearly five a.m., and he pouted a little mentally at the fact that he wouldn’t be able to get that last hour and a half of sleep. 

“Do you mind if I just sit on the counter with you?” Louis asked. 

Harry frowned. Did Louis not want to shower with him anymore? He knew it wasn’t exactly living in paradise, waking up to him having a nightmare, but surely that wasn’t enough to make Louis lose interest in him? It wasn’t as if Louis’d never been around him during a nightmare; Harry’s nightmares were so much worse before Louis had left for UNF. 

“Stop that,” Louis said firmly, probably to the expression of worry on Harry’s face. “I love the shit out of you; I just don’t want to break your routine, however you deal with your nightmares. I don’t want you to get used to having me back – not when I have to leave again.”

Oh. Well. …That was a good point.

Harry relaxed, and nodded, still hyper-aware of the itchy wetness of his skin. “Okay,” he said, and looked to the door. “But can we, erm – can we go now?”

“Right,” Louis said, and sprung out of the bed, grabbing a pair of boxers from his bag and putting them on. 

Harry led the way, and sighed when the sound of the water hit his ears. Louis watched him take off his briefs, and Harry blushed a little, but he knew Louis wasn’t looking at him like _that_ , not right now. Louis was still worried, even though he was obviously trying not to show it. But he kept clenching his jaw and drumming his fingers against any surface he could find, and it gave him away. 

Harry hissed when he stepped into the boiling water, but smiled peacefully through the pain. It was washing all the phantom blood off his skin. Good. 

Once Harry’d washed his entire body once, he started humming _Yellow_ , by Coldplay, and heard Louis shifting on the counter. Peeking around the shower curtain, Harry found Louis laying down on his back across the wide counter, feet in one sink and his head perched on the edge of the second one, tilted so that he could watch the shower curtain, even though he couldn’t see through it. 

Harry caught Louis’ eye and smiled at him, and tried his best not to be embarrassed. Louis had seen worse, and it wasn’t Harry’s fault. Harry didn’t have to feel ashamed. Karen told him that every session, and Louis always fervently agreed when he mentioned the statement during their calls or Skype dates. 

“Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones,” Harry sang out quietly, his voice echoing a little eerily in the bathroom. Louis smiled and joined in, his arms folded behind his head. “Turn into something beautiful, and you know, you know I love you so.” Louis blew a silly kiss that was so random – he’d never done that before, Harry was pretty sure – that it startled a giggle out of Harry. 

“You know I love you so,” Louis sang alone while Harry muffled his stupid giggles. His voice was quiet, but he looked right into Harry’s eyes when he sang it, and it was cheesy and dumb, but Harry smiled to himself anyway, and ducked back in behind the shower curtain to wash his skin off a second time. 

When he was finished, his skin scrubbed and bright red, Harry grabbed the towel off the rack and stepped out of the shower, ruffling his hair with the towel for a second before wrapping it around his body. Louis sat up on the counter, his legs naturally spreading just enough for Harry to step in between them, so Harry did just that. 

He leaned his face against Louis’ chest and felt Louis’ arms come around him, rubbing the water off his back and generally squeezing him tight. 

Harry kissed Louis’ chest and pulled back after a while, when he started getting cold, and Louis followed him into his room. He crawled back into the bed while Harry threw some jeans on and a t-shirt, and Harry came and sat on the edge of the bed, his back to Louis, and then laid back against him, his head pillowed by Louis’ toned – but still soft, somehow – stomach. Louis automatically reached up and started playing with Harry’s wet curls, and Harry hummed. 

“My dad was dying, and he told me it was my fault,” he said quietly. “And then, it started raining blood, right there in my living room. It got all over me.”

Louis was quiet, but he kept playing in Harry’s curls, and Harry swallowed tightly. 

“I know, like, logically, that it’s not. My fault, I mean. It’s not. I didn’t do anything wrong, and it was – you know, it was a weird situation –”

“Mark was a sick man, sweetheart,” Louis interrupted, and it surprised Harry; Louis hadn’t really talked about Mark since he’d died, other than a few times when Harry _needed_ to talk about what had happened. Even then, though, Louis had never really stated an opinion on the man, one way or another. Obviously, Harry knew Louis was on his side and didn’t blame him for Mark’s death, but Louis wasn’t exactly forthcoming in his opinion of his dead step-father.

Now, though, Louis just brushed hair off Harry’s face and continued slowly and quietly. “You know that, right?” He checked. “Mark was – he wasn’t right. In the head, he wasn’t right in the head. Stable people just don’t…do stuff like that. And you’re right: none of what happened was your fault. We couldn’t have known any of it.”

Harry took a shaking breath, but nodded. Louis was right; Harry’d come to that conclusion, as well, eventually. “I know,” he said simply, and knew that Louis believed him. 

“I love you,” Louis told him. Before Harry could say it back, he added, “I know I tell you that every day, but I still sometimes feel almost like I don’t say it enough, or, like, when we say it before we hang up, it’s almost more like a formality or something, but I really do – I _love_ you, like deep down in my heart, I can’t believe how much I love you. And it’s probably dumb to say, at eighteen years old, but I really think you’re the love of my fuckin’ life, and I think I’m going to love you forever. I can’t imagine what someone could possibly do to make me ever stop loving you; I really can’t.”

Harry lay in silence for a minute after Louis stopped talking, and then rolled over and crawled back into the bed with Louis. He hugged him, and shifted around so he was laying down and every line of Louis’ body was pressing against him, and squeezed him tight. “I love you, too,” he said, a little embarrassed that there was a tiny lump in his throat. He swallowed, and coughed to make it go back down, and said, “I love you, and I know you love me, because you show it so well that I never _have_ to wonder whether or not you do. Like, you’re so – I love how _good_ we are to each other, and I’m sure there are things about our relationship that need some work, and I’m sure that we’ll figure out what those things are and fight about them –” Louis chuckled and kissed Harry’s eyebrow – “but for now, we’re so good and I think we’ll keep being good together. You’re _safe_ , and you always have been, even when we first started going on dates and I was equally terrified and euphoric to be sitting next to you. You’re – I’m pretty sure I deserve you, and I try to be as good as the kind of person you deserve, and I know it sort of sounds conceited to say it like that, but I think I _am_ , you know? I think we’re both just really good people, and that we deserve each other.”

“No, I completely agree,” Louis said, nodding along. Harry smiled, and then immediately groaned when his alarm clock started going off, interrupting what Louis was about to say next.

“We were having such a nice _talk_ ,” he whined, but Louis chuckled and patted him on the bum. 

“We can finish our talk when I get home tonight,” he promised. “Now. Go finish getting ready, go to school, pay attention, go to practice and work, and hopefully, I’ll be back in time to have dinner with you, okay?”

Harry groaned, but nodded, and pushed himself up off the bed. “How are you even so awake?” He asked as Louis got up out of bed, too, and started digging through his bag. 

“Morning training, remember?” He said, and Harry grunted, remembering. “I’m used to it.”

“Ew,” he said, and Louis just snorted. 

Harry’s mum was already awake and making French toast, so Harry and Louis ate breakfast with her before Harry realized how late he was going to be if he didn’t leave immediately. 

“Bye, Mum, bye, Lou!” He gave each of them a kiss on the cheek and made a mad dash for his keys, reminding himself not to speed because the cops in town were _Nazis_ about speeding. 

\---

“So, what’d you do when he showed up?” Niall asked as they carried their lunches to their usual table. 

Harry smiled and shrugged. “I was just happy to see him,” he lied, casually as possible. “Just went up and hugged him, you know, and we practiced together, just like before he left.”

Harry heard a scoff behind him, and saw Liam coming up with his tray of food. “Lee Arnold said Scot Streiss recorded it all, and they did the whole, ‘run-into-each-other’s-arms’ thing,” Harry’s traitorous friend said. “Tackled him to the ground, made out a bit, and then just hugged. The guys on the team all cheered them on.”

Instead of cackling, though, like Harry expected him to, Niall said, “Awe!” 

Harry rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he said, stuffing his mouth with the roll on his tray. 

“No, seriously, mate,” Niall said earnestly, nudging Harry’s wrist with his own across the table. “It’s good. Not like Li doesn’t whine whenever he can’t see Danielle.”

“Or how Niall pouts every other weekend when he can’t get up to Kilgore to see Zayn,” Liam cut in casually, not even looking up from mixing his mashed potatoes and peas together. Harry was mildly disgusted by the food, but he snorted at Liam’s words. 

“I’d kill to see Lou every other weekend,” Harry admitted with a grimace. 

“Which is why I complain to Liam about not seeing Z, and not you, and why Liam’s being a bitter Betty about it, now.”

He said it so off-hand and it was more pointed to Liam than Harry, but Harry bit his lip, anyway. He hadn’t known Niall even complained about it, much. Niall never really said anything to him. “You – I wouldn’t, like, try to one-up you,” he began awkwardly. Niall frowned, and Harry huffed, looking for words. “Like, I never meant to make you feel like you can’t _talk_ to me about –”

“Aw, Haz, it isn’t like that at all!” Niall interrupted. “I know you wouldn’t be a dick about it. I just didn’t wanna rub it in, ‘s all.”

Harry was still a little hesitant, but he nodded, not wanting to drag it out if it really wasn’t a big deal. “Okay,” he said, and nodded again. “Alright. If you’re sure.”

“’Course, mate, don’t be stupid,” Niall said, pushing a fist gently against Harry’s arm. “So, anyways – how’s it, being back with ‘im?”

Harry took a deep breath and blew it out heavily. “It’s _great_ ,” he said, a smile taking over his face. “So great, like – I thought maybe there’d be, like, a little awkwardness, or something, but it’s – there isn’t any. He’s so great.”

“How’s the sex?” Niall asked. Liam slapped Niall’s arm and tutted, but Harry was too busy hiding his bright red face in his hands to care. “What?” Niall asked. “Look, Li, they haven’t seen each other for _three months_ , and you think they didn’t spend their weekend getting busy?”

“Actually,” Harry began, though Liam interrupted him. 

“That’s not what I’m saying, but it’s still rude to be like, ‘Hey, tell me all your dirty details’ out of nowhere,” he said calmly, rolling his eyes.

“It’s –” Harry began, only to be interrupted by _Niall_.

“It’s not outta _nowhere_ ,” he insisted. “We’re his best mates. Of _course_ , we’re gonna ask. It’s like, our job, or something.”

“Guys!” Harry said, laughing when they both shut up and looked at him. “It’s fine. I know Niall’d ask; he always wants to know. Perv.” He threw a fry at Niall, but Niall just shrugged and ate it. “It’s, erm – we haven’t – done it.”

Niall’s eyes went wide with surprise, but Liam didn’t look too shocked. “Not ready?” He asked, taking a bite of his sandwich and giving Harry time to answer.

“I dunno?” He said. “I think it’s more – there’s, like, other stuff I have to know before. Like, it wouldn’t feel right, doing it before…I found out some more stuff. Like, about – everything. So, yeah, maybe. I guess not, maybe I’m just not ready yet.”

“That’s fine,” Niall reassured him. “Lou’s a great guy; he understands, and all.”

“Yeah, I know,” Harry said with a smile. “He’s great.”

\---

“Styles! Are you the team captain, or one of those legless animals we see on Facebook?! _Run_ , boy!”

Harry muttered to himself as he snapped into action, frustrated that he was off his game so badly. He wasn’t even _trying_ to pay attention, and he knew it. He needed to get his butt in gear so Coach didn’t just tell him to leave and bench him for the next scrimmage of pre-season.

“Relax, Coach, he’s probably sore after a weekend with his boyfriend,” Rav, a new junior, called out, just quiet enough that Coach didn’t actually hear it. Harry gritted his teeth and kept running, ignoring the comment and how it made his stomach feel like it was suddenly a whirlpool.

“Fuck’d you just say, bro?” Scot yelled, and Harry whipped around to see Scot getting up in Rav’s face. 

“Scot!” Harry yelled, just as Scot pushed the junior. Harry ran over to the altercation, just as Rav pushed back.

“I _said_ , he’s probably sore from a weekend with his boyfriend,” Rav said. “What are you gonna do about it?”

“Scot!” Harry yelled again, and grabbed the senior’s arm. Harry pushed his way between the two boys, an arm out to them each, breathing a little hard. “Break it up! It’s not worth it. Walk away, both of you. You’re not fighting, not on my team. Get back to drills, both of you.”

Rav sneered, but he listened, and Scot just watched Harry a little angrily, breathing heavy. “What’d you stop me for?”

“It’s not worth it,” Harry said.

“It’s not – _bro_ , most of this team watched you two fall in love last year! You guys were the fuckin’ dream team together! You think that relationship isn’t worth it?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Harry snapped, and then bit his lip. He still hated confrontation – more confident or not, he probably always would. “Of course, the _relationship_ is worth defending, and thank you for standing up for me. But Rav’s a teammate, and he’s good. Rude or not, we can’t afford to lose him.”

“Harry, man, I’m not letting some idiot new guy come onto my team and be a dick to our captain just because he can kick a ball in a straight line.”

“If he becomes a real problem, I’ll talk to Coach, alright?” Harry bargained. He hated it, and Rav _was_ a jerk, but he couldn’t afford to lose a defender. “Swear. Just – don’t fight with him anymore, okay? The boys look up to you.”

Scot huffed one last time and turned away sullenly. He glared in Rav’s direction, but Rav was already turned away, doing drills. 

Harry pushed his hair out of his face and chewed on his lip for a few seconds, glancing towards the clock on the scoreboard. Underneath it, Harry saw Coach watching with his arms folded, and when Harry made sort-of eye contact in the distance, Coach nodded his approval. Harry wasn’t sure if it really made him feel better, but he nodded anyway and started running again.

\---

Harry sighed as he tied his apron on. The door to the bakery shut behind him, the bell tinkling as it hit the doorway. 

“Be right with you!” Nick called through the back. 

“It’s just me,” Harry called back to him, still fumbling with the knot. When he finally fixed it, Harry walked back towards the kitchen, smiling at the old woman who was sitting at the single table in the corner of the shop, her husband’s face covered by the Sunday paper. 

“Ah, young Harry,” Nick greeted, having emerged from the kitchen. When he saw the slight frown on Harry’s face, the smile faded from his own. “What’s wrong?” He asked. 

Harry sighed and jerked his head towards the kitchen. He didn’t want to discuss it in the front. Nick shrugged and backed up into the kitchen again, leaning against the wall, and watched Harry frown at his shoes. 

“Rav made a…comment. Today. Erm, about me and Lou,” he said, fidgeting with the hem of his apron. 

Nick snorted. “So?” He said, but when Harry looked up at him, feeling a little hurt, Nick smiled softly. “Screw him, Harry Styles. He’s a stupid kid who doesn’t get how great gay sex is.”

Harry blushed and looked back down to his feet. He knew Nick was gay, and they both talked about Louis a lot together, but they’d never talked about _sex_ before. “We haven’t, erm – we don’t do that,” he said, trying to say it confidently, to show Nick that it wasn’t something he was ashamed of. 

Nick didn’t seem to get it, though, because his eyes got wide and his jaw dropped a little bit. Before he could say anything, though, the bell tingled and Harry whirled around, finding a customer coming in and placing a _massive_ order. Harry started sweating as he wrote it down and rang it up, and tried not to choke when he saw how much the total was. 

Nick found little snippets of time to approach Harry during work, but the conversation never got far, thanks to Barbara and Mary both keeping them on track. Every time he’d ask Harry about his and Louis’ intimate life, Harry would slowly think of an answer, only to be cut off by one of the women snapping at Nick to get back to work. Harry’d never been so secretly grateful.

He _wasn’t_ bothered by or ashamed of his and Louis’…private life. Really, he wasn’t. But it was kind of hard to explain why Harry and his boyfriend of a year hadn’t had sex yet. And he knew, objectively, that he could tell Nick it was none of his business, and he knew Nick would immediately back off with no hard feelings, but – Harry didn’t want to make it a _thing_ , or make it weird. 

Just twenty minutes before he could clock out, Harry was flushed, sweaty, and nursing sore fingers from messing with the dough for four hours. The bell above the door tingled, though, so Harry passed the tray of dough over to Mary and headed out to the front. 

“Lou!” He exclaimed, his mood instantly brightening. 

“Hi, you,” Louis greeted with a happy smile. He walked up to the counter and leaned over it, puckering his lips up for a kiss. It was quick and chaste, but knowing Mary and Barbara and Nick were just behind them made Harry blush and giggle a little bit. “How’s your day been?” Louis asked, and Harry’s smile went a little forced. 

“Tell you about it later,” he said when Louis noticed the change immediately. 

“Hazza, what’s the hold u- Oh, hello.”

Harry turned around and saw Nick staring between Harry and Louis at the doorway to the kitchen. “Nick,” he said with a smile that was much more natural than the last, “this is Lou. Louis, this is Nick.”

“Nice to meet you,” Louis said cordially as Nick moved smoothly over to the counter. Louis stuck his arm out just as Nick’s side brushed against Harry’s hip, and Harry didn’t miss Louis tracking the proximity. He shifted onto his right leg to put just a bit of space between him and Nick. 

“Pleasure’s all mine,” Nick drawled, shaking Louis’ hand as he looked him up and down. “So,” he said after a second of awkward silence, “you’re the _famous_ Louis Tomlinson.”

“Well, I dunno about famous,” Louis said with a laugh, “but I _am_ Louis Tomlinson.”

“Hmm,” Nick hummed. “I’ve heard quite a bit about you from young Harold, over here,” he added, wrapping an arm around Harry’s waist. Harry didn’t mind the gesture _all_ that much, used to how touchy Nick was, but he noticed Louis clench his jaw a time or two, so he thumped Nick on the nose just to get the young man to squawk and cover his nose up, effectively removing his hand from Harry’s waist. 

“Stop being all mysterious,” Harry said, forcing a little laugh. He reached for Louis’ hand and squeezed it, smiling a little when Louis squeezed back playfully. “He’s trying to show off, to show you what great company I’m keeping while you’re gone,” Harry told him in a faux-whisper. “He wants you to think he’s way cooler than he really is.”

“Shut it, young Harold,” Nick said, tousling Harry’s messy, sweat-matted curls. “He’s a liar,” he said to Louis, who laughed. “He’s making me look bad so you don’t feel like you have to worry about me encroaching upon your territory.”

Harry bit his lip when Louis squeezed his hand a little too hard just for a split second, and he looked between his friend and boyfriend, watching. 

“Harry’s not my territory,” Louis said with a forced laugh and a not-at-all casual shrug. “He’s my boyfriend. But I don’t worry about anyone –” Louis paused and gave Nick what Harry felt was an awkwardly-long gaze – “becoming a problem with our relationship.” With that, Louis broke his gaze from Nick and looked over at Harry, smiling at him, and squeezed his hand. “I’m gonna go back to your place; I’m a little tired,” he told Harry quietly, but, Harry noted, loud enough for Nick to hear. “Unless you want me to pick anything up for you?” 

Harry chewed his lip, looking at Louis a little worriedly. He knew Louis wasn’t mad at _him_ , of course – really, he didn’t look mad at all, only a little uncomfortable – but Harry wasn’t really sure _why_. 

“No, I’m good,” he said softly, and smiled when Louis pulled his hand up to kiss the back of it. 

“Okay, then,” he said with another smile. His eyes cut over to Nick and he gave a curt nod. “Nice to meet you, mate,” he said in a slightly flat voice. 

“You, too,” Nick drawled out with a smile turning up the corners of his mouth, and Harry’s unease settled a little. Nick was smiling, and Louis wasn’t frowning. Maybe the meeting _was_ fine, and he was just still uncomfortable from the stuff Rav was saying at practice, or something. 

“Oh, don’t forget, Niall and Liam are coming over in half an hour,” Harry said, and met Louis’ smile when he turned around. “They’ll probably be there before I am – I have to count up the money in the register – but I’ll see you at home?”

“See you at home, love,” Louis said happily, and Harry beamed at him, and watched him leave. Harry wondered, as Louis pulled off from his parking spot, if this is what life would be like for them later on, maybe after college: Louis showing up to visit him at work, asking if he needed anything, little sweet interactions before leaving, and then Harry meeting him at home – or vice versa, obviously. It was such a sweet scenario in his head that he frowned, a little, when Nick started talking and snapped him out of it. 

“Not exactly the warm-and-fuzzy I was expecting,” he said, sounding a little miffed, “but he sure seems to have a soft spot for you; I’ll give you that.”

Harry smiled up at Nick, trying to bite his lip and failing because his lips were stretched out so wide already by his grin. “He does,” he agreed. 

“So, if he’s so great, why haven’t you had sex?” Nick asked bluntly, and Harry’s grin faded. 

“Oh,” he said, trying to be casual and nonchalant, “we just decided to take it slow.”

Nick harrumphed as Harry tried to ignore the ever-so-slight feeling of inadequacy Nick was unintentionally bringing up. “Slow, my ass,” he said with a snicker. “There’s no _way_ Louis’ just fine with dating someone as good-looking as you for an entire _year_ without getting his dick wet!”

Blushing, Harry opened up the register and grabbed a few rubber bands, separating bills into different piles on the counter while Nick watched. “I – well, I mean, we’ve…done stuff,” he hedged. “He’s just…waiting for me. To be – ready, I guess.”

“You’re a _virgin_?” Nick asked, aghast, and covered his chest like he was having a stroke. Harry’s face heated up, and he felt like he might be having one. “You? Really, though?”

“ _Yes_ , really, though,” he answered, trying to lighten his voice to make it sound like he was teasing Nick for his reaction. Really, he felt stupid. “Louis’ the only boyfriend I’ve ever had, remember?” He knew he’d told Nick that before; he was almost surprised that _Nick_ was so surprised at Harry’s virginal status.

“Well, sure, but I didn’t realize you’d never had _sex_.”

Harry counted out all the twenties and sorted them into stacks of $200 before replying. “Lou was my first everything,” he said. “First boyfriend, first date…first kiss. All that stuff. I didn’t – I was kind of…sheltered, sort of? I guess.” The uncomfortable feeling in his stomach was starting to grow again, and he tried not to think about it. He should just end the conversation, but he really liked Nick, and wanted Nick to like him. Obviously, they were already work buddies, and they hung out a lot together, but still, Nick was older than Harry, and really cool, too. Harry couldn’t help feeling like even though Nick obviously enjoyed his company, for whatever reason, he should work to impress Nick, just a little bit every once in a while – and Nick really wanted to know about this stuff, obviously. 

“Well, I don’t see how you two have worked out. Don’t get me wrong,” Nick added, “I’m glad you have – I just don’t get it.”

Gnawing on his lip, Harry hesitated. “What do you mean?” He asked. Nick shook his head.

“I just – once you have sex, young Harold, you _need_. It’s like a drug, and you’ve just shot up for the first time. You feel that high, and you don’t ever go back. I don’t know how your boy’s survived this long without sex, but I hope – for your sake, and your relationship’s sake – that he can keep it up until you’re ready.”

Nick left him, then, and Harry had to recount the fifties three times, his brain was so scattered.

\---

It was nearly one in the morning by the time Liam convinced Niall to leave Harry’s house and go home. They’d just had a few hours of fun – pizza, video games, talking about random things – and Louis made fun of Niall for some of the stories Zayn had told him when they were visiting earlier up at Kilgore until Niall choked on a slice of pepperoni. 

Finally, though – and Harry kind of felt bad for thinking like that about his best friends – they were gone, Harry’d showered, and was just tossing some random clothes into an overnight bag when he felt an arm slide around his waist slowly, another hand brush hair away from the back of his neck, and a pair of lips against that exact same spot a few seconds later. Harry closed his eyes and swayed in Louis’ hold. Louis buried his face in the back of Harry’s neck and breathed deeply, nosing into his hairline at the base of his neck. Harry swallowed tightly at the strangely arousing move, and he covered Louis’ hands, resting on his stomach, with his own. 

“Is everything okay?” Louis asked quietly, tightening his hold around Harry. “You seemed a little off tonight. Anything you wanna talk about?” 

Harry hummed, _really_ not wanting to think about his afternoon and evening before coming home to see Louis surrounded by some of their best mates. “Nothing too bad,” he assured Louis, “just an irritating last few hours.”

“The boys?” Louis asked, a little surprised, and Harry laughed. 

“No, not the boys,” he said, closing his eyes and leaning back against Louis a little more. Louis’ hands started rubbing at his stomach, making Harry’s hands move up and down with them. “Before that. One of the new guys on the team, and Nick –”

“Nick?” Louis interrupted, a little too sharply, and Harry stilled and frowned. Louis didn’t say anything more, and Harry slowly turned around in Louis’ arms, frowning deeper as he looked at the negative emotion on Louis’ face.

“What is it?” He asked, but Louis didn’t really say anything, and it didn’t take long for it to dawn on Harry. Of course. “You don’t like him,” he sort-of accused, and Louis snorted. 

“Sorry,” he said, but he didn’t seem sorry at all, and it kind of sucked, a little bit.

“You only talked to him for, like, five seconds,” Harry tried. “You’ll like him next time. We’ll have to spend some more time with him,” he suggested, but Louis was already dropping his arms and shaking his head.

“No, babe, sorry,” he said again. “He’s not someone I think I’d end up liking.”

Harry had to resist the urge to pout. “You liked him just fine in my stories,” he reminded Louis stubbornly. He wasn’t sure why; it wasn’t the end of the world if his friend and boyfriend weren’t great friends – after all, how often would he really spend time with both of them at once? Still, though, Harry wanted them to like each other – they were some of his favorite people, and it’d be nice if they liked each other so they could see what he meant when _he_ talked about how awesome they were to the other. 

Louis sighed. “Yeah,” he said, “because in your stories, he didn’t seem like such a pretentious dickhead.”

Harry gaped; he’d never heard Louis talk so rudely about someone, like that – much less someone Harry liked. “Louis,” he said, not happy at all, and Louis finally seemed to realize that he was beginning to grate on Harry’s nerves. 

“Look,” he said, sitting down on the edge of Harry’s bed, next to the overnight bag Harry’d been packing. “If you want to hang out with him and be his friend, it’s not like you need my permission, love. But I don’t have to love all your friends, okay? And you don’t have to love mine. We got lucky with Niall, and Zayn, Liam, and Stan – but as similar as we are, we aren’t actually the same people, and sometimes having friends that are just _yours_ is nice. Nick is just gonna have to be one of those friends – one that’s specifically _yours_ , and not at all mine.”

Harry huffed and sat down on the other side of the bag, flopping his hands into his lap and staring at them, frustrated. He’d really thought they’d get on. 

“ _Hey_ ,” Louis said, and in Harry’s field of vision, one of Louis’ hands came in and squeezed one of his. “Why does this matter so much to you, babe?” Harry just shrugged, but Louis wasn’t giving up. “Tell me?” He requested softly, and Harry glanced over at him, finding an open expression on his face. 

“I dunno,” he said a little honestly, “I just – like, Niall and Liam know how great you are, right, but they’ve – they went through all the…stuff…with us. Like, they were there for it all. Nick wasn’t, though, and it’s really nice to have a friend who doesn’t know what a crap-fest the last, like, year, almost, as has been, in some ways. So, he doesn’t treat me in any type of way, except, like, the way normal people treat their friends. And since he doesn’t know you, I get to tell him all about you, and I don’t – like, I can only talk about you so much with Niall and Liam before they don’t care anymore, because they _know_ already. And it’s, for you, it’s like. I get to tell you about a whole new person, that you don’t know because – you – you’re off at college, right, and you have _all this new stuff_ you get to tell me about, right, and that’s _so_ awesome, really, I love it, but I’m still _here_ , with the same people, and doing the same things, and nothing else is new. I’m still with Mum, and I’m still playing football, and friends with Niall and Liam, and I’m still doing schoolwork, and working at the bakery with Mary and Barbara and Marge…but Nick is something you _don’t_ know. I get to tell you about him. And that’s fun for _me_.”

He felt pretty silly for his explanation when Louis just sat and listened, and watched him when he was done. After a few minutes, Louis nodded, looking like he’d just agreed to walk the plank.

“Alright,” he said. “I’m not taking that from you, okay? I’m not saying you can’t talk about him, or anything, babe! He _does_ say funny stuff, and the stuff you say about him makes him sound like a lot of fun…but he just rubs me the wrong way, kind of. Some personalities just don’t go well together, and if you force it, I feel like it’d only get worse. Neither of us were comfortable tonight, you know? It was pretty awkward, is all. I don’t think you should push it. Tell me all about him, but I don’t think I’d be comfortable spending much time with him.”

Harry sighed, but knew he had to accept it. Sometimes, they just had boundaries they couldn’t explain very well. That was okay. He’d live without their friendship being some epic thing. “Okay,” he agreed with a nod. 

“Alright,” Louis echoed, and then smiled at him. “Now,” he said, and stood up. “Are we all packed? Ready to spend some time, just the two of us?”

Harry felt a smile take over his face with the help of a light blush, and nodded. He let Louis pull him up, and wrapped his arms around Louis’ neck to get a kiss from him. Louis gave happily, and wrapped his arms low around Harry’s waist, fingers grazing the top of Harry’s bum gently enough to make Harry giggle a little bit. 

Harry broke the kiss in the end, needing to breathe a little bit more desperately than he needed to kiss Louis (but only a little bit), and he reached over to snag his pill bottles and toss them carelessly into the overnight bag before zipping it up, and turning around to face Louis, who was watching him and leaning against the desk. 

“Ready?” He asked, and Harry nodded, chewing on his lip for a minute. 

“Your car or mine?” He asked, and Louis rolled his eyes, pulling the keys from his car. 

“Want to drive Baby?” He asked, and Harry felt like he might have a stroke. He hadn’t driven Louis’ car since his birthday, when Louis gave him that driving lesson that got…a little heated. 

Harry tugged at the collar of his t-shirt, but held his hand up and caught the keys when Louis tossed them. “Let’s go,” he said breathlessly, and ran down the hall to the door, excited to drive the Porsche. He heard Louis chuckling as he walked behind him, but Harry was already in the driver’s seat, bag thrown in the back, by the time Louis shut the front door behind him. 

\---

They laid on the bed, just cuddling in their underwear and listening to the jungle sounds around them, soothing and rocking gently. Louis was mostly on his back, Harry curled up around him with his head on Louis’ chest, each in their own world and enjoying being there next to each other. 

“Do you wish we had sex?” Harry asked, and he could tell it jolted Louis out of his thoughts rather abruptly, and he bit his lip. He probably should have led up to it. Still, he might as well go ahead, now that’d he’d said something. “Like, all-the-way sex,” he clarified.

“Well, yeah,” Louis answered honestly. He looked mostly confused, but as soon as he answered, he went tight lipped and looked a little annoyed at himself for saying it. “I’m an eighteen-year-old who used to be pretty sexually active,” he explained. “Of course, I wish we had sex morning, noon, and night.”

Harry tried to make his answering smile a little less shaky than it felt on his face. He pushed himself up and slung a leg across to the other side of Louis’ body, feeling weird because it meant he was completely on top, and he usually wasn’t. He had something to do, though, and he rocked his hips gently, pushing his bum against Louis’ penis. “Let’s do it, then,” he said, and leaned down to kiss Louis. 

It felt a little strange to push his tongue deep into Louis’ mouth without Louis doing it first, but Harry he wanted this for Louis, and a little bit for himself, even if maybe he wasn’t all the way ready. His mind would catch up, probably, just like how sometimes his penis took a little longer to get all the way hard and sometimes it didn’t. 

He just really didn’t want Louis going back to college feeling like Harry didn’t want him enough, or trust Louis enough to share himself with him, or something. He didn’t want Louis going all those miles and hours and states away, wondering if Harry _really_ loved him.

Louis moaned against Harry’s mouth and Harry lifted one leg awkwardly to pull his leg free of his briefs, trying to do it without _not_ kissing Louis. After a tricky bit of uncomfortable balancing, one leg was free, and the other leg after was much easier. Finally, Harry was completely naked on top of Louis, and he reached over to where the bag was laying, on the side of the bed, and grabbed some of the lubricant – his own, thanks to Niall not blushing and stammering like Harry had when they’d gone to buy it at the general store – and a condom he’d made sure not to let Louis see while packing it. 

He left the condom on the bed but held onto the lube, his other hand bracing himself over top of Louis while Louis’ hands ran down Harry’s back. Harry’s penis was completely hard, and he tried not to blush (even though he was already pink, he could feel it) when he pushed the bottle against Louis’ chest, breathing, “ _Please_ ,” against Louis’ mouth. 

Louis made a sound that didn’t seem like he was agreeing, and Harry grinded himself harder against Louis’ penis. 

Louis ended the kiss, though, thumping his head back against the pillows and breathing roughly, so Harry dropped the bottle onto the bed next to Louis and moved down to kiss his neck, grazing his teeth against Louis’ skin just enough for Louis to feel them there. 

“Touch, touch,” Louis gasped out, his hips rolling up to meet Harry’s, and Harry pulled back. 

“Touch you?” He asked, and his hand slid down Louis’ chest towards his penis, but Louis shook his head and caught Harry’s wrist, keeping it above his boxers. 

“No, _touch_ ,” he said. “We need – fuck, we need a better safeword,” he added with a laugh that turned into a groan when Harry rolled his hips again, seeking friction against his own penis with Louis’ stomach. 

“How about ‘please’?” Harry suggested, leaning down again, but Louis stopped him with his other hand, pressing across his chest to keep him up. 

“I think you may not understand the concept of a safeword,” he mumbled. Harry didn’t know what to say to that, so he didn’t, and Louis sighed, letting his head hit the pillows again. “Harry, we’re not having sex tonight, babe,” he said, and Harry felt dread in the pit of his stomach. 

“But…” Harry said, feeling kind of bad. He _knew_ he wasn’t ready, but he still kind of felt bad for making Louis wait so long. After all, they _had_ been together a whole year, little breakups aside, and he _did_ love Louis, truly, with all his heart. 

Louis interrupted him before he could worry too much, though. “But, you’re not ready,” he said softly, “and as much as I’d love to have sex with you – and believe, me, I’d love to – it wouldn’t be good. Not if you’re not ready.”

“I’m – it’d be good,” Harry protested weakly; he was pretty sure it’d be good. Niall said it felt better if your…if you were tight, and Harry was – he didn’t use fingers on himself very often; Louis was better at it, so he was probably pretty tight. Harry reached down and touched his erection, not wanting it to go away in case Louis changed his mind. Or, well, even if he didn’t.

“No,” Louis said with an almost sad smile on his face. “It’d feel good _physically_ , for both of us, but if you aren’t ready, like, in all the other ways, it’d probably kill our relationship. I want to have sex with you, but not more than I want to _be_ with you. Okay? We can have sex – all the time, every day for the rest of our lives, if you want – but not until you’re ready.”

Flushing, and simultaneously reassured and pleased, Harry leaned forward and kissed him. Harry moaned when the movement made his penis brush against Louis’ stomach, and decided it was time to move things along, even if they weren’t having _real_ sex. 

“Alright, fine,” he acquiesced, a little urgently, and leaned back up and rocked against him. “But can you please – the – right there, just –”

Louis grabbed Harry’s hips, like earlier, and helped to guide him. It didn’t take Harry long to feel the fire he loved so much. It spread from his groin all the way out, up and down his body so that his fingertips and toes were tingling and hot. A roll of sweat dripped down his breastbone, between his pecs, and he looked straight into Louis’ eyes as his mouth dropped open and he came with the vision of Louis watching, wide-eyed, as Harry practically rode him – without the actual riding bit, obviously. 

Harry leaned over Louis, a hand on either side of his head, for a few moments, getting his breath under control, and exhaled slowly once he had it. A part of his brain told him to just scoot down and give Louis a blow job, but he kind of – 

“Do you – like it when, erm. When someone…fingers you?” He asked, biting his lip and trying to school his expression into one that said, _Look how much I don’t really care! I’m not dying to try it! It doesn’t matter to me! Look how casual-cool I am being about the possibility of having my fingers inside you!_

He wasn’t sure if Louis was having an aneurysm or not, but he didn’t say anything when Louis’ eyes nearly bugged straight out of his head. His penis was still hard, underneath Harry, which Harry probably thought was a good indicator that he wasn’t actually dying, but still, when Louis finally blinked, Harry couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief. 

“Is that…something you want to try tonight?” Louis asked carefully, like he was picking his words very deliberately. His face was void of any emotion either way, and it kind of made Harry nervous. He’d say if he didn’t want to have Harry’s fingers, right? 

He’d had fingers before, though, Harry knew. 

In the end, Harry just bit his lip and nodded, and Louis swallowed before letting loose a shaky breath. 

“I – okay. Yeah, I…I love it. Yeah,” he stuttered out, sounding like he’d been hit on the head with something really heavy. 

Harry leaned down and kissed him, slow and soft, feeling like maybe _Louis_ was the one who needed the reassurance, this time. Although – “You’ll tell me, like…how to do it, right?” He checked, and when Louis nodded, Harry smiled. “Thank you,” he said. 

Harry gave Louis one last kiss and moved off of him. Louis snagged one of the pillows and put it under his hips, then took off his boxers while Harry watched, biting his lip and praying he’d do this right and remembering the times Louis’d done it to him. 

Finally, Louis was ready, his hips propped up high and his legs bent and spread wide open, waiting for Harry to move closer. It’d been so long since they’d been in this position, and it momentarily distracted Harry. 

Harry started off by sitting low on his knees, and when Louis passed him the bottle, Harry’s hands were only shaking a little. He _wanted_ to give Louis this – had been thinking about it for weeks. Sure, in his head, he’d had another month, until Thanksgiving, to prepare, but he wasn’t looking a gift horse in the mouth and he certainly wouldn’t miss this opportunity. 

Since Louis looked like he’d come any second, Harry didn’t play or waste time. He poured lube on a finger and petted it over Louis’ hole, going in soft circles and trying desperately to recall every single thing Louis had ever done to him that felt good. 

“Just – slowly push,” Louis said, hands folded on his stomach and watching the ceiling as if he were getting a check-up, rather than being intimate. 

“Look at me,” Harry said quietly – so quietly, he didn’t think he’d be heard. He was, though, surprisingly, and he wasn’t sure if he was glad or embarrassed by that, but Louis’ gaze was a little steadying and Harry slowly pushed his first finger up against Louis’ hole. The lubricant made the slide so much easier, but the second Harry’s fingertip got past the tight muscle that clearly didn’t want to allow him in, he choked on his own tongue. 

Louis was so _soft_ and _hot_ in there. With the very first knuckle that was inside Louis, Harry wiggled his finger and groaned when he moved around with little to no resistance, the further inside he went. Instantly, Harry understood why Louis liked to give this to Harry, and why dirty videos almost always showed this part: it was unbearably sexy. Harry’d just come, and his penis was already starting to hurt a little, trying to get hard despite not being ready to, yet. 

Harry would be lying if he ever said he didn’t want to put his penis inside Louis, but at the same time, he was kind of glad Louis’d said no, simply because Harry knew he wouldn’t be able to last long enough to make it good for Louis, if he did. As it was, Louis seemed relatively unaffected – well, at least much less affected than Harry ever was. He was breathing slowly, measured carefully, and had one hand on his stomach, flat and mostly-relaxed. Automatically, Harry bit his lip and slowly tried to push his finger deeper. Watching Louis’ face very carefully for any signs of discomfort, Harry pressed his finger further and further, petting at Louis’ thigh absently with his other hand. He could feel his eyes wide, and knew his mouth was hanging open because he could hear himself breathing heavily. 

When his last knuckle brushed against the skin of Louis’ bum, Harry swallowed and grinded his teeth together, his penis twitched several times in a row, and with a wide-eyed, slightly frantic look down at Louis, Harry experimented, moving his finger around. Louis’ penis wasn’t all the way hard anymore, and Harry wasn’t sure what he was doing wrong. 

“Tell me what to do,” Harry begged, and Louis took another very deep breath. 

“Doing good, babe,” he said, and Harry made a frustrated sound. He didn’t want to do _good_ ; he wanted to be _incredible_ , like Louis.

“Tell me,” he repeated, emphasizing until Louis’ hips rolled and he bit his lip for a split second. 

“Add another finger,” he said, “slowly. Pull out most of that finger – yeah,” he praised when Harry pulled most of his finger out, looking down to make sure his second finger had plenty of lubricant on it still. It looked like it did, but Harry added a little more, just in case. He could never be _too_ prepared, right? That wasn’t a thing…he was pretty sure it wasn’t a thing. 

Slowly – very slowly – Harry pressed his index and middle finger against Louis’ hole. Louis took deep breaths, and Harry choked as he _watched_ Louis’ hole contract and relax, like Louis was struggling to make himself calm down and let Harry in. His first two knuckles went in relatively easily, but then his fingers got thicker and it was more of a challenge. 

“What do I do?” He asked, chewing on his lip nervously, and Louis tilted his hips, pushing Harry’s fingers in a little further just by default. Harry stilled, not sure if the move was on purpose or not, but Louis’ hips tilted back up and then down again, and Harry was pretty sure what to do. “Just…?” He trailed off, slowly pushing his fingers closer, pushing Louis’ skin along with the move, and then relaxing them back towards himself a little. His fingers weren’t actually going any deeper _into_ Louis, but Harry guessed the rocking motion made Louis relax a little more, because after a few rocks, Louis’ hole unclenched a little more and his fingers were able to slide further in. 

“Does it feel good?” Harry asked, a little breathless. Louis’ bum was _squeezing_ his fingers together, and he could feel Louis’ muscles contracting around his fingers. 

“Really good,” Louis grunted, and Harry felt his heart soar and his penis twitch again with interest. “You can – it won’t hurt if you push a little, just…yeah,” he sighed, once Harry got the hint and slowly pressed his fingers in deeper, despite the resistance. His fingers slid in all the way past that middle knuckle, only another inch or so of fingers left to give him. “Good,” Louis said, probably more to himself than Harry, but Harry heard it. 

“What do I do, now?” Harry asked, cheeks burning. As aroused as he was, he couldn’t help but be a little annoyed at himself. Louis was clearly enjoying himself, and there Harry was, interrupting that enjoyment because he was ignorant of how to…pleasure his own boyfriend. 

Louis gnawed on his bottom lip with his eyebrows furrowed and his eyelashes fluttering as he did the hip-tilt thing again. “You’re – it’s so good, babe,” he said, his voice a little strained. Harry used Louis’ tilting pelvis to their advantage and pushed his fingers the rest of the way in, only meeting a little push-back and freezing for a few seconds once his two fingers were all the way inside Louis. “Fuck, that’s – you can, like…” Louis held up a hand and separated his two fingers a little, making a scissor-kind of motion. 

Harry tried to imitate the movement, but Louis was too tight for him to get very far. “I’m trying,” he said, trying to reassure Louis that he was putting effort in. 

“It’s good,” Louis gritted out. He threw his head back suddenly against the pillow, rocking the whole bed. “Jesus, it’s good, you’re so good, it’s so amazing. Fuck.”

Harry coughed, trying to hide his pleasure, and started experimenting with his fingers, seeing what he could do with them. After a few minutes, Louis’ bum got a little looser, like Harry just needed to warm it up, or something, and he started prodding around, seeing what he could feel. It was a little slimy, but not in a gross way – it had Harry swallowing compulsively, thinking it was probably a thousand times better than Louis’ mouth, somehow, if that were even possible. He was pretty sure it was, though, because Louis’ mouth felt good when it was around Harry’s penis, but he couldn’t even _begin_ to imagine what his _bum_ might feel like, if he ever got to put it in there. 

Out of nowhere, Louis gasped, his hands flew out and grabbed the chains holding the bed up, his back arched and he moaned, loud and long. The whole thing nearly gave Harry a heart attack, but after a moment, he realized he’d found Louis’ g-spot – that place that always made Harry come really hard. 

Sure enough, Harry looked down from Louis’ face and onto his penis and saw that it was twitching. Harry tried to find that little nub again, curling his fingers every which way. 

“Up, up, up,” Louis shouted, and Harry listened. Louis seized up again just the same way, and his penis lifted _off_ his stomach, like Harry was pushing it up, himself. “Fuck, _shit_!” Louis shouted when Harry found it and rubbed at it, and Harry’s head spun when Louis clenched around his fingers so tight it almost hurt. Louis came, covering a line straight up to the dip between his pecs with his come, and Harry suddenly couldn’t remember if he was supposed to keep playing with Louis’ g-spot or take his fingers out. Thinking it’d be a good middle ground, Harry kept his fingers in but eased off the pressure on that little nub, up there, and Louis un-arched and went limp, just like he always did. 

He was silent, just breathing heavily, and after a while, Harry slowly pulled his fingers out, remembering how it felt when he’d pulled his own fingers out of himself too fast. After he wiped his fingers off, though, Louis still was silent, and Harry was _pretty_ sure that was a good thing, but he knew Louis typically recovered from his orgasms a little faster. 

Harry leaned down between Louis’ legs and watched Louis’ face as he licked the come up off Louis’ sweaty skin. He knew it was something Louis loved watching, but Louis didn’t even groan, or anything, so once the come was all gone, Harry crawled up Louis’ body and looked at his face deeply. 

Louis was staring at him, but it didn’t really seem like he was _seeing_ him. “…Lou?” He asked a little nervously. 

“Yeah,” Louis answered a little faintly. His eyelashes fluttered, staying shut a little longer than normal. 

“Are you alright?” Harry asked nervously. 

Louis snorted. Or, well, he made a sound that Harry was pretty sure was _supposed_ to be a snort. “’M dying,” he said. His hand reached up and flopped against Harry’s neck a few times before he let it fall back down. “So good,” he said, his voice a little slurred, almost like he was drunk. “That was…so good,” he repeated in a quieting mumble. Seconds later, Harry was pretty sure Louis was asleep. 

“Lou?” He checked, just in case. When Louis didn’t answer or move, Harry looked down at his own penis, which was mostly-hard, having softened in his focus on Louis. It looked like he’d have to just ignore it; Louis was clearly down for the count. 

Harry moved over to Louis’ side and laid down next to him, pillowing his head on Louis’ shoulder and pressing his body up against Louis’ side. It took him quite a while to fall asleep, but after a few hours of looking at Louis and tracing random lines on his skin, Harry’s eyelids drooped too much for him to stay awake. 

\---

The roar of a jungle cat, off in the distance, woke Harry up from the _weirdest_ dream. Still, it wasn’t a nightmare, so Harry wasn’t about to complain. 

Looking around and feeling out his body, Harry realized he’d rolled over in his sleep, and Louis had plastered himself to his back. Harry was sweating, under the blanket and so close to Louis. When he couldn’t take it any longer, Harry scooted out and dropped off the bed a little clumsily, his movements having made it start rocking awkwardly again. Louis slept on. 

The overnight bag had fallen off the bed since last night, Harry realized with hot cheeks as he remembered how hot and tight and wet Louis had been inside his bum. Harry glanced down with light annoyance when he felt a shot of _something_ go from his penis up through his spine and the rest of his body. He pressed his hand against himself, the pressure feeling good on his erection, and sighed as he quietly made his way over to the bag and rifled through it, grabbing a few articles of clothing. He could do just without a shirt, but he pulled on a pair of briefs and some shorts and a pair of socks over his feet so they wouldn’t get cold – even when it was summer, his feet could get cold, for some reason. 

Louis was still passed out cold, and Harry gave himself a moment of worried scrutiny, but he saw Louis’ chest move with inhalation, and he knew he needed to relax. Louis’d clearly been wiped out from _something_ , and he was just sleeping it off. 

Harry sighed a little as he grabbed his homework that would be due tomorrow. The next day? Harry had no idea what time it was, but he didn’t want to find his phone and look. He brought his binders back over to the other side of the bed and climbed up slowly, losing his balance a few times but persevering. He moved some pillows over to prop himself up against the vine-looking chains holding the bed to the ceiling and got to work, remembering what Louis had said about grades slipping and making new ground rules simply because Harry’d been getting B pluses. 

Harry’s stomach had just begun to growl loud enough that he wondered if it’d wake Louis when Louis stirred on his own. Louis groaned a few times, and moved around, his hand reaching out and clenching the blanket where Harry had been laying before he woke up. 

“Hazza?” Louis called, lifting his head just barely and looking around. 

“Morning, sleeping beauty,” Harry said, amused as he watched Louis sleepily try to find him, on the other end of the bed. 

“Oh, hi,” Louis grumbled, though he was wearing a little smile. “Why didn’t you wake me up?” He asked, flopping back down and making the bed shudder. 

“You needed the sleep, clearly,” Harry answered, trying to laugh dryly. “How do you feel?”

Louis lifted his head again to look over at Harry, frowning. “What do you mean, how do –” He cut himself off when he moved to roll over towards Harry, his face contorting in a little bit of pain. “The f- right.” Louis smiled at Harry, then, and said, “You were _incredible_ last night.”

Harry blushed and wiggled his pencil so it tapped against his spiral a few times. “Yeah?” He asked, pleasantly surprised. 

“Oh, yeah,” Louis confirmed, his smile growing by the second, and then he laughed. “It was incredible.”

Harry bit his lip and looked down at his notebook, not wanting to kill the happy moment, but wanting to ask. “Are you sure?” He asked. “Because you were pretty…like, after, you kind of…just….passed out. Like, _right_ after. And you’ve been asleep since, I’m pretty sure.”

Louis didn’t seem disturbed by it, though; his smile stayed on his face as he eyed Harry up happily. 

“Is that –” Harry cleared his throat, choosing words carefully so he didn’t make anything awkward. “Is that, erm, normal? For you?”

Louis looked up and tilted his head side to side, looking playful before he said, “Only when I have a perfect boyfriend who fingers me into oblivion and makes me come so hard that I need a whole lot of sleep to recover.”

And he just _said_ it, so casual, that it caught Harry off guard, and he laughed – this big, loud, cackling kind of laugh that people rarely heard. Harry’s cheeks were already red from what Louis had _said_ , but he blushed harder when Louis laughed at _his_ laugh, even though Louis looked simply delighted by it. 

“Really, though,” Louis said after a few minutes of laughing, “sorry for passing out on you. It kind of hit me like a brick wall. I knew you’d be good, but I wasn’t expecting – I’ve never had it like that. It’s never…been that good.”

Harry wanted to bury his face in his hands and smile for a million years. Instead, he settled for beaming at Louis, baring it all, and asked, “ _Really_?”

Louis laughed. “Yes, really,” he replied. He moved over to sit next to Harry and kiss his cheek, rocking the bed like crazy. “It was amazing, babe, seriously. Absolutely incredible.” He seemed to hesitate, then, and asked, “Did _you_ like it?”

“Yes,” Harry said instantly, no hesitation in his answer. He didn’t even need to think about it; he’d loved it. “It was so…you were…I loved it,” he said honestly. 

Louis did that thing where he bit his lip to hide his smile, but it failed miserably and he ended up smiling wide at Harry. “I’m glad,” he said. “It was only that tight because I haven’t, you know, had anything up there in a long time.”

Harry furrowed his brows in confusion. “You don’t even…by yourself?” He asked, feeling hot around his neck and face. 

But Louis just shook his head no. “I don’t bottom very often,” he explained, “and I can never get the angle quite right, so I don’t bother. The good ol’ way works just fine for me, anyway.”

“Oh,” Harry said. “It’s not…I mean, it’s not weird that I do both, is it?” He asked. 

“’Course, not,” Louis answered, slinging an arm around Harry’s shoulders. “Nobody does it the same way, after all. It’s just one of those things. As long as you’re not hurting yourself in a way you don’t like, you’re doing it just fine.”

Harry nodded, accepting Louis’ opinion as his own, because it worked just fine. His stomach growled, though, and right after that, Louis’ did, too. 

Louis snorted. “Guess that’s the world’s way of telling us we need food,” he said dryly. Harry smiled. “Come on,” Louis urged. “Let’s get dressed and go get something to eat, yeah?”

\---

They got lunch at the bakery, allowing Louis to stop in and say hi to Barbara and Marge, though Mary wasn’t in. They doted on him even more than they did before he left, having heard a few stories from Harry over the past few months. By the time Harry and Louis left the bakery, they had a huge bag filled with little treats for free and Louis was properly chastised about not coming in and seeing them when he got in earlier.

When they passed the mall on the way back, and Louis saw, much to his excitement, that _Captain Phillips_ was playing, and he’d been dying to see it. They drove up to the window and bought tickets for the next show, and walked around the mall to kill time until then. 

While they were in the mall, they held hands, swinging back and forth between them, and as they walked past some nail salon, Harry must have squeezed Louis’ hand harder than normal, because Harry felt him squeeze back and ask, “What?”

“Huh?” Harry asked stupidly, and then looked back at the nail salon. “Oh, I – nothing,” he said quickly, blushing. He started walking off and pulled Louis with him, down to the sports store at the end of the mall. “Let’s go look at new shin guards,” he suggested, hoping his blush wasn’t as obvious as it felt on his skin. 

Apparently, it was, though. 

Louis stopped, refusing to be tugged anywhere, until Harry gave up and turned to face him. Louis had a confused frown on his face, but there wasn’t anything else that Harry could see. “What’s wrong?” He asked, and Harry bit his lip, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to brush this off. 

“It’s – okay, this is gonna be kind of…weird, I know, but – I kind of… I mean, sometimes. Not often, or anything –”

“Harry,” Louis said, and Harry cut to the chase. 

“Sometimes-I-like-having-my-nails-painted,” he blurted out, and let go of Louis’ hand to fold his arms in front of himself. 

Louis looked at him for a minute like he couldn’t decide how he felt about what Harry’d just said. He opened his mouth a few times and finally settled for, “Okay?”

Harry hesitated, but Louis didn’t look like he was hiding any weird feelings, so he just asked to make sure. “Is that…like, I know it’s weird,” he began, but Louis cut him off. 

“It’s not weird,” he said instantly. Harry smiled a little to himself; he was pretty sure he could admit to deriving joy from killing kittens and puppies and Louis would still defend him.

“It kind of is,” he insisted a little reluctantly. 

“Well, why do you like it?” Louis asked, and grabbed his hand again. They began walking towards the sports store once again, as Harry explained. 

“It’s just…I don’t know?” He tried. “Like, it doesn’t really make me feel any way, in particular; it’s just…kind of busy work, or something? Mum asked me to help with hers a few weeks ago and it was sort of…like football, for your hands. Like handwork, instead of how footwork is sort of something you don’t think about; you just do it?” Louis nodded, understanding the concept. “I’ve only done it, like, twice, on the weekends and stuff, because I don’t wanna deal with…all that at school. Not worth it,” Harry laughed casually. 

Louis didn’t laugh, though. He frowned. “Who would give you crap about it?” He asked, a little concerned. 

“Well, nobody, probably,” Harry lied, thinking of Rav’s comments on the field, “but is it really worth it, anyway? It doesn’t do anything _for_ me; why make a big fuss over it, right?”

“I guess,” Louis said slowly. 

They looked around the sports store, browsing through random pieces of football equipment, fawning over some of the newer brand-name stuff but loving their own things too much to even think about buying new. The nerves in the bottom of Harry’s stomach went down and by the time they were ready for the movie, he was fine. 

The movie was amazing, and Harry busied himself after the movie trying to perfect the pirate’s accent, trying to speak like him. He wasn’t very good, but Louis was even worse, so he wasn’t going to complain about it. 

They were both hungry, so Harry went to the foot court in the mall to get them a snack while Louis went to the bathroom for a minute, since they were planning on eating dinner with Louis’ sisters before going back to the Jungle for their last night together. 

During their snack, Harry started feeling the dread growing. Louis had, like, fourteen hours left. He knew it was stupid – Louis was coming back in not even a month for Thanksgiving – but he couldn’t help wanting to cry, a little bit. He ignored the urge and cleared his throat a lot in lieu of dealing with the lump growing there, and it seemed that after a few minutes, Louis was doing the same, leaving them sitting and snacking in complete silence. 

“This is stupid,” Louis said, suddenly, slapping the table and making Harry jump. “We shouldn’t be spending our last day moping. We’re going to go chill out a few more hours until dinner with the girls, then we’re going to go back to the Jungle, and I’m going to snuggle you so hard, your great-grandmother’s gonna feel it.” Louis smiled when Harry giggled at the vow, and they finished their meals in comfortable chatter. They spent some time people-watching and making up back stories for the passersby in the food court, but they knew most of the people in town, so it didn’t really work all that well. 

Harry drove them back to Louis’, bent on spending a few hours with the girls, but on the walk past the other garage, they realized nobody else was at the house. 

“Huh,” Louis said, but kept walking, anyway. Harry walked behind him, watching the curve of Louis’ bum as it moved with Louis’ steps, and noticed the strange shape in his back pocket. 

“What’s in your pocket?” Harry asked just as they walked through the front door. 

Louis grinned over his shoulder, wiggled his bum, and said, “That’s not the line, babe,” he said. “It’s, ‘is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?’”

Harry rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help the snort he let out. Louis laughed at him, sharp and loud and quick, and then sat down on the floor in front of the coffee table in the living room, pulling out whatever it was in his pocket and holding it in both hands.

“I got you yellow,” he said, looking only a little uncomfortable, “because I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about pink, or whatever, but I hate blue on my sisters. It just looks cheap.”

“What are you talking about?” Harry laughed, joining him on the floor, on the other side of the table. 

Louis opened his hands and showed Harry a small bottle of yellow nail polish, pale and very glossy. Harry’s breath caught, a little bit. It was an ugly color, but the intention behind Louis’ buying it for him was so sweet, and, like, showing Harry how much he accepted Harry enjoying painting his nails. 

Still, Harry wasn’t entirely sure where to go from there. “For me?” He checked, and Louis bit his lip but nodded. 

“If – if that’s alright?” He began tentatively. “It’s okay if this is stupid,” he added quickly, “I know you said it’s not – I mean, it’s just like something to do with your hands, but I thought maybe you’d like to paint them tonight? Even if you take it off later – or not, I don’t really…” Louis looked around the living room, seemingly in over his head, and Harry felt kind of bad for putting him in such a strange position. 

“Lou, it’s really nice,” he began, “but you don’t – I mean, you don’t have to feel bad if it’s a little weird to you. I know boys don’t paint their nails. It’s okay.”

“ _No_ ,” Louis said quickly, looking stricken. “That’s not what it is,” he insisted. “I don’t feel weird about it; I’m just trying to make sure _you_ don’t feel weird. I’m trying to show you that I don’t care what you do with your body, as long as it’s not dangerous, and that I support you, and all that stuff. I got you the stuff because I’m fine with it, like, you don’t need my permission to do stuff like that.”

“I know,” Harry said honestly, because he did know that. Louis hadn’t made him feel like that since the Zayn episode, last year.

“Right,” Louis agreed. “I’m probably going about this the wrong way, but this is me trying to show you that I’m _not_ bothered by it, either way. I didn’t, like, get it because I felt obligated to, or anything.”

Harry stared at Louis for a while and then, slowly, felt his frown curving up into a smile. “Thank you,” he said, and Louis smiled and sighed. 

“Why does it feel like we’re kind of bad at stuff like this?” He asked, half-joking. 

Harry reached across the table to grab the nail polish out of Louis’ hands and opened it, staring at the bottle. “Well,” he said slowly, lifting the brush out of the bottle and dabbing some onto his fingernails, “we’re still kind of new at it, you know?”

“Harry,” Louis said, amused, and Harry looked up to see Louis watching Harry paint his nails with a calm face. “We’ve been together over a _year_ ,” he said.

It brought a grin to Harry’s face, but he persisted, painting his left index finger. “I know,” he said, “but we haven’t exactly done the _normal_ couple stuff. I mean…the dates at the beginning, I guess those were pretty normal-coupley things to do, but ever since, you know…my dad got involved, it’s been – weird, I guess. And we had to focus more on _that_ stuff than, like…everything else. All the normal-couple stuff.”

It was a long time before Louis answered, but when Harry glanced up at him to check his reaction, Louis was only watching Harry paint his fingers, slowly but neatly. “Do you wish it were different?” Louis asked, as Harry thumbed away wet polish off the side of his ring finger. 

“Sometimes,” he answered honestly, voice mild. “I mean, we’d have to be insane to _not_ wish we had normal dads, and normal circumstances. It made us closer in a lot of different ways, but at the same time, it added a lot of stress to our relationship, you know? And I think we did some stuff backwards to how it’s normally done.”

“What do you mean?”

Harry slowly painted his pinky, letting out an irritated sound when he got paint all over the end of his finger, from having bitten his nails down so low. “Well, I mean, I trusted you with my life – and my life secrets – before I knew that you don’t even really like soup,” he said. “Or that you had a favorite letter. Who even has a favorite _letter_?” He teased, making Louis roll his eyes, because he’d heard it before. “We’d broken up and gotten back together before we even _really_ had a first fight, and you’d saved my life, calling the police, before we’d been dating a year. You have to admit, those kinds of things don’t happen with normal couples.”

“And you wish we were normal?” Louis asked, a little bit of disbelief in his voice. 

Harry looked up at him and smiled peacefully. “Not at all,” he answered. “I love the _end result_ , you know – I love where we are now, as a couple. I just don’t like what _made us_ a weird couple.”

Louis nodded thoughtfully while Harry started in on his right hand, his left hand shaking and making a horrible mess. 

“Crap,” he muttered, a little irritated. “I never do my right hand well.”

“Here,” Louis said, holding his hands out across the table. “I’ll do it. You need to let your other hand dry, anyway; you’ll mess it up if you keep using it.”

Surprised, Harry let Louis hold his right hand and passed the polish over to Louis, who thumbed off a good portion of the nail polish from Harry’s skin. “You just have to keep practicing,” Louis said, “but then again, I’ve never tried to paint nails with my left hand, either.”

Harry bit his lip as he watched Louis painting his nails with a little smile curving his lips upwards just barely. “I didn’t know you could paint nails,” he said, blushing a little, for some reason. It felt nice, having Louis focusing on him. And he got Louis’ attention and focus quite often, really – it wasn’t something he necessarily was lacking, but it was nice to have it in this quiet, small way, almost like last night, when they cuddled for a few hours, not saying much of anything and just enjoying each other’s presence. 

“Guess not,” Louis said idly, like it didn’t matter much. “Not exactly something I lead with when I’m trying to impress someone,” he added, looking up and throwing Harry a small wink.

Harry waited until Louis got to his middle finger to ask, “When’d you learn?”

“To paint nails? Mmm, Lottie was pretty little when Mum started painting her nails, and I wanted to help…probably seven or eight? And Mum let me help a lot, and then she’d just watch while I painted – probably to make sure I didn’t paint Lottie’s face hot pink,” he snorted, and Harry laughed. He could see a young, mischievous Louis doing exactly that. “And then, when I was, like…ten, maybe, Lottie asked me when Mum wasn’t home, and Mark didn’t know how to paint nails, so she came up to my room and asked.” Louis shrugged. “I don’t do it anymore, really, now that Lottie’s old enough to do it for the younger girls, but, you know. Kind of like riding a bike.”

Harry nodded, careful not to jostle his hand in Louis’, and Louis quickly finished painting. When he was on Harry’s pinky nail, they heard the front door opening, and the twins came running in, excited after seeing Louis’ car in his garage. 

“Louis, you’re back tonight!” Daisy – Harry was pretty sure – called, but she and Phoebe – Harry was almost positive – both stopped when they noticed Louis holding the nail polish and painting Harry’s hands. Harry got a little apprehensive, but it turned out to be for nothing, because they both just shrieked, “ _Louis’ painting nails tonight!_ ” 

Louis groaned, but the younger three girls all ran to their rooms, probably to get nail polish, while Lottie just laughed at Louis’ tortured expression. 

“You don’t like it?” Harry asked quietly, curious. Before Louis answered, though, Jay came in with a smile on her face, as well.

“Hey, boys!” She greeted happily. “How are you all tonight?”

“Good,” Harry said, just as Louis answered, “Great.” They shared a look, and a little smile, and then Louis screwed the cap back onto the nail polish. “What’s for dinner tonight?” He asked, leaning back against the couch. 

From the kitchen, Jay called out, “I thought we’d just make those barbeque hotdog pieces; I know they’re your favorite. Sound good?”

Louis moaned, making a face that…seemed pretty familiar, actually, and made Harry hot under the collar. He awkwardly fanned himself with his fingers spread out apart from each other, trying not to smear the polish Louis’d concentrated on so hard. Louis caught the movement, though, and winked at Harry, and Harry only blushed harder and stopped fanning himself. 

“Sounds _incredible_ , Mum,” Louis answered. 

The barbequed hot dogs didn’t take long to cook, so Jay forbade the girls from asking for painted nails until they were done with dinner, which, as was custom in the Tomlinson household, was loud and chaotic and messy, with the exception of Lottie, who seemed to be a little angry. Harry opened his mouth to ask her what was wrong, but Louis nudged his side and shook his head minutely. 

At Harry’s questioning look, Louis leaned in. “It’s easier to say goodbye if she’s angry,” he said quietly. 

It made Harry more than a little sad, and he looked over to where Lottie was angrily stabbing little hotdog bits soaked in barbeque sauce and shoving them into her mouth, probably hard enough to pierce something, if it got in her way. 

After dinner, Harry and Louis both sat on the floor up against the couch and painted fingernails and toenails, having competitions about who did a better job. Harry was sure Louis only won because the girls were happy to have him home, but Louis assured him that it was experience, and since Harry’d only painted his own nails a few times (and, for the rest of the weekend, gradually peeled it off), he let Louis have the victory unchallenged. 

Harry stayed at Louis’ side while they watched a movie, and then Louis went upstairs to tuck the twins in and read a story. He came back down a good while later a little tight-jawed, and Harry knew the girls must have started crying about him leaving in the morning, before they were even awake for school. 

Fliss was next up to bed, and Louis walked up with her to have a private goodbye moment with her. He walked back down a little while later – much sooner than he had with the twins – and didn’t seem nearly as upset. He leaned up against Harry, though, and Harry gladly wrapped his arm around Louis’ shoulder, more than willing to be the one giving out comfort. 

It was ten when Lottie went up to bed, and when Louis moved to get up, she just muttered, “Don’t bother. See you when you get back,” and kept walking. Louis sat back down, looking lost, and Harry stared at Lottie’s retreating figure, a little wide-eyed, not sure what to say or do. 

“Don’t take it to heart, Louis,” Jay said quietly. “She’s never done well with goodbyes, and she feels abandoned.”

“I don’t _mean_ her to feel that way,” Louis defended, sounding upset. “She’s – I _have_ to go; it’s not like I’m choosing it!”

“And she knows that,” Jay explained, her voice calm and soothing. “She does. But she’s only twelve, baby; she’s still young enough to not cope well with negative emotions.”

Louis sighed and leaned heavily against Harry, who kissed his temple. After a few moments of silence, Harry finally said, “You know what we haven’t done?”

“Hmm, what’s that?” Louis asked. 

“Played football.”

Louis laughed lightly. “Harry, we played the day I came in,” he reminded Harry. Harry just rolled his eyes. 

“I mean, we haven’t played one-on-one,” he clarified. “I have the key to the equipment room…wanna go play a little? Take your mind off things? Just for a little,” he reassured Louis, who looked hesitant. “We can’t be out late tonight, anyway; I don’t want you driving tired.” 

Finally, Louis gave in. “Sure,” he said with a smile, “let’s go.”

Twenty minutes later found them at the field, turning on half the lights and feeling like burglars, running through the abandoned locker rooms. Harry kept his word, working hard to get Louis’ mind off Lottie and leaving in the morning, and they ended up playing for an hour, until Harry remembered how early Louis planned on getting up. 

Another half hour had them laying in Louis’ bed, in nothing but boxers and briefs, since the girls were home, having decided that the Jungle was too far of a drive so late. They were holding each other tight, kissing sweetly, and Harry was trying hard not to think about the fact that Louis would be leaving in less than ten hours when there was a quiet knock on the door. Harry pulled back and looked at Louis in confusion, but Louis apparently hadn’t heard it. 

“What?” He asked Harry quietly, and the knock came again, causing him to sit up a little, and Harry rolled onto his back, angled toward Louis but no longer half on top of him. “Come in,” Louis called. 

The door opened and a tear-stained face peeked around the door. Louis’ breath hitched, and his arms opened up. “Oh, Lottie,” he began. Lottie let out a choked-off sob and ran across the room, climbing up into the bed on Louis’ side and wrapped her arms around Louis, crying into his shoulder. Louis held onto her, one hand cupping the back of her head and keeping her closer, where she was. Harry wasn’t sure if he should give them privacy, or not. “Lotts, I’m so sorry I have to keep leaving,” Louis was murmuring quietly. “It kills me to leave, but it hurts even more to stay away, you know?” Lottie nodded, though she kept crying and coughing against Louis’ chest. “I think of you every single day. My roommate, you know Dougie? He knows all about you, about your good grades, and your weird music tastes –” that got a laugh out of her, at least – “and he knows what a good big sister you are to the girls, how much you take care of them and help out Mum. I talk about you _all the time_. Even send Harry over, just to check, sometimes. He ever tell you that?” Lottie shook her head, and lifted it, looking over at Harry, like she was asking if it was true. Harry nodded, and she rested her head against Louis, squeezing her eyes shut as she cried. It broke Harry’s heart, and he couldn’t imagine what it did to Louis. A simple look up at his face, though, told Harry that Louis was trying hard not to cry. 

“I just _hate_ when you’re gone, is all,” Lottie mumbled. “The twins don’t like my oatmeal, and Fliss won’t let me help her with her Social Studies even though Ms. Crow is _awful_ and takes off points for everything, and Mum doesn’t want me to cook dinner when she’s not home so we have to wait and the twins get bratty. I’m not good enough to be you.”

“Lottie, sweetheart, you don’t have to _be_ me; you have to be _you_ ,” Louis said emphatically. “There’s not a single person in the world who could be you and do all the things you do. Why would you want to be dumb old me when you could be _you_? Plus, you already know how to _do_ that.”

Lottie sniffed, though. She wasn’t having the confidence boost. “I just want to take care of them,” she said. “They still don’t get – Mark, and…Mum’s been working so _hard_ ; I think she doesn’t want to think about Mark, lately, either…and I – nobody’s here for _me_ , because I have to be here for _them_.”

“I’m always here, Lottie,” Harry finally piped up, sympathetic tears in his eyes. “I know I’m not Louis, but I’m still here, and I’d drop everything I could to be there for you, if you need anything. I want you to know that, okay?”

Lottie nodded, still stuttering in her breath, and Louis petted over her hair as he added, “And I’m just a call away. I can’t always promise to get back to you immediately, but I _will_ always get back to you. I can promise that.”

Lottie nodded again, and stayed quiet, closing her eyes and tightening her grip on Louis. She looked up at Harry, then, and asked hesitantly, “Can I sleep in here, tonight? Please?”

Harry nodded instantly, putting aside the small, selfish part of his brain that wanted to say, _He’s mine, too_ , and moved to get out of bed, intending to sleep on the little futon by Louis’ desk so he’d at least wake up when Louis did. 

Louis grabbed his wrist, though, brows furrowed. “Bed’s big enough,” he said, and scooted closer to Harry, letting Lottie get more comfortable on the bed. “We can sandwich together for one night, right? Don’t tell your sisters you slept with me,” he added sternly down to Lottie, who laughed. “They’d throw a fit.”

“Swear,” she vowed, and Louis lifted up the covers for her to slip under.

He got comfortable on his back, then, and lifted both arms, letting Lottie and Harry curl up and rest their heads on his shoulders. “Gonna have two numb arms when I wake up in the morning,” he joked lightly, making them all chuckle, just a bit. “Good night, Lottie.”

Lottie sniffed and wiped her nose before she replied, “Night, Lou,” and Louis kissed the top of her head. 

“Night, Hazza,” Louis said next. 

“Night, Louis,” Harry said, tilting his head up to look at Louis. Louis kissed him, then, right on the mouth, and rested his head against the top of Harry’s. 

Lottie was the first to drift off, falling asleep fast and, in her sleep, turning over, away from Louis. A few minutes later, Louis curled his body slightly, allowing Harry to lay half on top of him, and wrapped an arm around Harry’s hip. Harry pulled one knee up, wrapping his ankle around Louis’ leg and pulling him even closer, trying _so_ hard not to cry, because he didn’t want to wake Lottie up – he didn’t want to _cry_ , not when he knew he’d made it three months without Louis, and this time, he’d only have to make it _one_. Louis would be home for Thanksgiving break, for a whole week, and Harry would get so much time with Louis that it wouldn’t even feel hard to wait _another_ month for winter break. Harry could do it.

Still, goodbyes were awful, and Harry found himself sniffling, embarrassingly enough. 

And, of course, Louis noticed. 

“Hey,” he said, and Harry felt even worse, because Louis sounded tired. “Hey, don’t cry, sweetheart; we only have to wait a few weeks, this time.”

“I know,” Harry said weakly. “Ignore me. I’m being stupid.”

“You are,” Louis agreed, and Harry pushed himself up so he could glare down at Louis. His indignation made Louis laugh quietly. “I was kidding,” he said, assuring Harry and pulling him to lay back down. “Sweetheart, you don’t have to be embarrassed for being upset. I’m upset, too. I don’t want to leave you, not at all.”

“But you’re living out your dream,” Harry mumbled, words muffled from the way his face was squashed against Louis’ chest. “At UNF, I mean. Going to college for football, making all these friends, you’re out, you’re being treated pretty well… It’s all you’ve ever wanted.” The reasoning was amazing, but it kind of made Harry feel a little miserable. How could Louis really want to leave all _that_ and come back to him all the time?

“That’s true,” Louis said slowly. “This has always been my dream. I never pictured myself being tied to some boy still in high school back home. But it happened, and even though I’m having a great time in Florida – I won’t bother lying; we both know I love it there – I still wish more than anything that I could somehow glue this world and that world together. UNF football, UNF life, it’s _great_ , but having you and the lads and the girls there would be the _best_ ; you don’t even know. Don’t…don’t ever think that just because I’m having a great time over there, I don’t miss you, because I do. I miss you all the time, you know? Just like I know you miss me.”

“You’re right,” Harry said after a moment, feeling better already. “I know you miss me. I was just –”

“Being stupid?” Louis teased, and laughed when Harry slapped his stomach lightly. “Want me to wake you up when I leave?”

“Gotta get home somehow,” Harry reminded him. 

“Right,” Louis chuckled. “It’s a bit of a walk, from here to the new house, isn’t it?”

“It’s a long _drive_ ; what are you talking about?” Harry grumbled, though he didn’t meant it. 

Chuckling, Louis gave Harry another kiss. “Go to sleep, love,” he said quietly. “I’ll wake you up at the last minute.”

Harry smiled and nodded against Louis’ chest. “Love you,” he said. 

“And I love you.”

\---

Harry’s dream was just starting to get a little scary when Louis woke him up, cupping his face and placing his thumb over Harry’s lips. The second Harry’s eyes snapped open, already breathing a little too fast, Louis made a _shhh_ sound and jerked his chin over to the other side of the bed, where Lottie was still fast asleep. 

Harry got out of bed and got dressed, putting the dream and Mark’s chattering voice out of his head. He had more important things to think about. 

He helped Louis load up his bag – the other one was still at Harry’s – and brought it to Louis’ car. Jay came out to see them off, and she was teary-eyed, but not crying, and it helped Harry to calm down. There wasn’t a need to freak out, or be upset. Their relationship was stronger than ever before, they were happier than ever, and Harry knew for sure when he’d see Louis next – there was no uncertainty, this time around, and it was only a month, a third of what he’d endured already. 

The drive back to Harry’s was quiet, and they held hands over the gear shift. When Harry brought Louis into the house, his mum was already up and getting ready for work. She came out of her room fiddling with her watch and paused when she saw Louis, then gave him a sad kind of smile and moved to hug him. Louis kissed her cheek and hugged her, and Harry was pretty sure he heard Louis whispering something to her, but she just hugged Louis tight and kissed his cheek when she let go. 

“Have a safe trip; call when you get back to campus, okay?” She requested. Louis promised, and then he and Harry went and combed their end of the house for anything they might have missed. Didn’t want Louis getting home only to have left his toothbrush at Harry’s, or anything. 

When they got all packed up, Harry got a little misty-eyed as he stood at Louis’ car, holding his hand and watching Louis swallow compulsively. 

“I love you,” Harry said quietly. It made Louis smile, is the thing, and he wrapped Harry up in his arms and kissed him passionately. As much as Harry wanted to let Louis just have his way with him, though, he didn’t want Louis driving late at night, so he had to pull away and give Louis a chaste little kiss on his lips. “Go,” he said. “Drive safe. Call me when you get there, and when you stop, and stuff. I’m going to school today, but if anything happens, let me know, okay?”

“You know I will,” Louis said, and kissed Harry again. Harry bent his head and Louis pressed his lips to Harry’s crown, and then breathed in deep. “I love you so fucking much, babe,” he said quietly, like it was a secret he whispered into Harry’s curls. 

“I love you, too,” Harry promised, and then looked up. “Come on,” he said, swallowing the rapidly-growing lump in his throat. “You need to go, or you’ll be driving really late. Go on, drive safe. I love you. Skype date tomorrow?”

“ _Homework_ date, tomorrow,” Louis corrected, and laughed as he jumped out of the way of Harry’s swatting. He got in the car, then, and the laughter drained from Harry’s face, but he tried to stay calm and keep his face decent, or Louis would get out of the car to reassure him. “I'll see you in a month,” Louis promised. Harry nodded, and he shut the door and started the car. With one last kiss blown through the window, Louis took a deep breath, started the radio, and drove off, Harry waving to the back of his car until he turned off the street.


End file.
